Funny Quotes · Page 158

“Everything’s more amusing when read in voices.”

— Tessa Dare

I was not a writer to begin with; I was a listener.

— Erskine Caldwell

The ascetic makes a necessity of virtue.

— Friedrich Nietzsche

I did not even finish my studies

— Bill Gates

It's better not to argue with women,

— Vladimir Putin

LOVE, Is a fan club with only two members;

— Nikhil Saluja

There's no such thing as nothing.

— Sanford Meisner

You Look so much better When You Smile - so smile...

— Kirk Franklin

Every woman deserves a man who respects her and every man deserves a woman who appreciates his efforts.

— Green Monk

If you want others to follow, learn to be alone with your thoughts

— William Deresiewicz

Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them.

— Arjun Loveable

The 'Awkward Moment' when ur when you start yelling at someome and they put there hand over your mouth.

— Anonymous

There's no such thing as a supermom. We just do the best we can.

— Sarah Michelle Gellar

We spend so much money on expensive clothes, but the best moments in life are spent without clothes.

— Anonymous

The true nature of a thing is the highest it can become.

— Aristotle

I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff.

— Morgan Freeman

“Oh, so there were angels and demons, but no vampires? No mysterious, super-hot bloodsuckers who would love you forever? Now that was…

— Alycia Linwood

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to…

— Ogden Nash

“Gus leaned back in his chair, appearing satisfied. "Good," he said. "Cause Maggie's all the nightmare I can take." I smiled. "Gus,…

— Jessica Shirvington

“... there was one new metallic monstrosity stacked in one corner that she hadn’t seen the last time she was a visitor…

— E.A. Bucchianeri

Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light…

— Robin Williams

That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic…

— Jon Stewart

Funny enough, apart from when I was at school, I've always gone out with younger men - I was even married briefly…

— Arlene Phillips

For me personally, being a comedian is having funny ideas and saying them: it's not just saying them. I need the complete…

— Frank Skinner

repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.

— Ambrose Bierce

You're gonna have to serve somebody.

— Bob Dylan

The blues ain't nothin' but a botheration on your mind.

— Memphis Slim

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

— Nikhil Saluja

Suffering is overrated. It doesn't teach you anything.

— Bill Veeck

Dear Math, grow up and Solve your own Problem!

— Anonymous

When you decide to be something, you can be it.

— Frank Costello

I think it's funny when parents are idiots.

— Butch Hartman

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

— Henny Youngman

Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass.

— Ritu Ghatourey

I've got a great repertoire with my players.

— Danny Ozark

As you can see, visually, with your eyes.

— Murray Walker

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

— Catherine Zandonella

Experience is the highest authority.

— Carl Rogers

Forgiveness frees the forgiver.

— Lance Morrow

History is the gradual instant

— Anne Michaels