Funny Quotes · Page 156

Getting into debt, is getting into a tanglesome net.

— Benjamin Franklin

If ye love me keep my commandments

— Robert D. Hales

What happens when the music stops? Where does it go?

— Michael Tilson Thomas

We like someone because. We love someone although.

— Henry de Montherlant

We are already ONE. We just think we are separate.

— Thomas Merton

Take your job seriously, but not yourself

— Dwight D. Eisenhower

When you're three, you're into custard, and jumping.

— Russell Howard

This is my sister like if u think she pretty

— My Sister

I'm not good at debating - I'm much better at pontificating.

— Laura Schlessinger

A German singer! I should as soon expect to get pleasure from the neighing of my horse.

— Frederick The Great

Everyone who tells a story tells it differently, just to remind us that everybody sees it differently.

— Jeanette Winterson

This isn't a man who is leaving with his head between his legs.

— Dan Quayle

Why choose to be right instead of happy when there is no way to be right?

— Hugh Prather

“Isn’t it funny? You forgive people before they ask forgiveness. Later they expect your apologize.”

— M.F. Moonzajer

Remember a diamond is just a piece of coal that did good under pressure.

— Anonymous

He who Serves his fellows is, of all his fellows, greatest

— E. Urner Goodman

“[Ella] “Again, I ask, whose side are you on?” [Lola] “The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after…

— Dakota Cassidy

I never feel like it'll be something where like, 'Aha, I've got it. I'm funny for the rest of my life. I…

— Jaboukie Young-White

What I find relatively funny is that I'm not a model. I'm five foot six and a half; I have absolutely no…

— Sophie Kennedy Clark

Our life comes in segments, and we have to understand that we can have it all if we're not trying to do…

— Madeleine Albright

“The Professor doesn’t have a problem being called Dick? If my name was Richard, I’d go by Richard or Rich . .…

— Simone Elkeles

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at…

— Adam Ferrara

On a crowded bus in Israel, a mother was speaking to her son in Yiddish. An Israeli woman reprimanded her. "You should…

— Kirk Douglas

“Sam, just accept it. There is nothing funnier than penises randomly inserted in wildly uncalled for places in the sport of hilarious…

— Jordan Krumbine

Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal.

— Ronald Reagan

Be an evangelist with your excellence.

— Dave Ramsey

It is within the power of every man to become great.

— Wallace D. Wattles

The new evangelization ... begins in the confessional.

— Pope Benedict XVI

When luck ain't with you it's against you." ~pg 92

— Patrick Ness

We are more alike than unalike.

— Maya Angelou

For God is like a skilfull Geometrician.

— Thomas Browne

We can choose, you know, we ain't no amoeba.

— Bonnie Raitt

People who are close me know I have a funny side.

— Suhasini Maniratnam

I don't want to understand Facebook.

— Charlie Munger

Hit by a truck. Driver died on impact.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's really complex to make something simple.

— Jack Dorsey

Where there is no wine there is no love.

— Euripides

One cannot afford to be a realist.

— Albert Bandura

Grammatically correct chicks are way hotter.

— Nikhil Saluja

I went with my very being toward language.

— Paul Celan