“Women were created gullible. It they weren't no babies would be born.” — Dakota Dawn Copy Share Image
I will NEVER work a night shift at a restaurant because of the hash slinging slasher. :| — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock. — Billy Corgan Copy Share Image
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
There is some humour in 'Family Values.' I don't want everyone to think it's not going to make them laugh. But there… — Wendy Cope Copy Share Image
I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't always have time to make a pan. That's why I wish they would sell cinnamon… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Wyatt should’ve looked ridiculous sitting on the floor, leaning into the crate making kissykiss noises at the cat, but he didn’t. He… — Jill Shalvis Copy Share Image
I just feel like there are a lot of funny things that happen in this world and I guess that's for the… — John Pinette Copy Share Image
I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I. — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
It did suffer and it became very weak, while the reporters from Iraqi radio and television stations were more active and had… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
Everybody is a potential murderer. I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices. — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
What I love about comedy is that it's unquestionably working. There are varying degrees of that, where there's something that makes you… — Abbi Jacobson Copy Share Image
