Funny Quotes · Page 150

Empathy comes from being empathized with.

— Stanley Greenspan

What have the Romans ever done for us?

— John Cleese

“Llamas can drive... they just don't know it yet...”

— Llama Queen

A race track is a place where windows clean people.

— Danny Thomas

Our bills shall not be killed.

— Thomas Jefferson

The actual well seen is ideal.

— Thomas Carlyle

Ful wys is he that kan himselve knowe.

— Geoffrey Chaucer

Dear person sitting next to me ,

— Anonymous

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

— George Carlin

Either create your own journey or you'll become a part of someone else's.

— Marshall Sylver

“Then Sister Aquinata abandoned the nonviolent methods and produced a rolling pin from somewhere.”

— Mary Robinette Kowal

You know, it's funny, but all the people I looked up to and always admired were all racers.

— Travis Pastrana

I'm gay and always have been, even when I was David Jones

— David Bowie

You don't know what you have until it's not there anymore.

— William Moseley

What's really funny about being National Youth Poet Laureate is that not everyone even knows it exists.

— Amanda Gorman

The way things work / is that eventually / something catches.

— Jorie Graham

What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a…

— W. C. Fields

“What happened?" he asked brusquely, interrupting me. "What do you mean, what happened?" "I sensed your fear, heard you call out my…

— Kristi Cook

At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and…

— P. J. O'Rourke

I don't want to have my face on the cover of a Wheaties box. I wanna have my face on the cover…

— Mitch Hedberg

It's a funny thing that when things happen in an actor's life, at some point it's just a performance, at another, it's…

— Ashish Vidyarthi

Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn't do something it oughtn't to a doctor should be called in…

— Jerome K. Jerome

Mable 'Madea' Simmons: Look girl I'm done told you already to stop poppin' that gum! Nikki: Look! If you touch me, I'm…

— Madea

Looking at my last summer pics & seeing how much weight I've gained has inspired me to make a resolution this summer…

— Nikhil Saluja

Cooperstown is the greatest place on Earth.

— Bob Feller

I don't just sing in the shower... I perform.

— Ritu Ghatourey

Let me introduce you to my fists. Logic and reasoning.

— Nikhil Saluja

My inner world creates my outer world.

— T. Harv Eker

Nothing in life that’s worth anything is easy.

— Barack Obama

There is no disinfectant like success.

— Daniel J. Boorstin

Not my will, but Yours be done.

— Leslie Ludy

I watch pom, you misread that didn't you? ;)

— Hudson T

There is no learning without remembering.

— Socrates

I don't know all the certain words to word it.

— Vanilla Ice

You measure success by how much good you do for others.

— Zig Ziglar

You're saying butt-kisser like it's a bad thing!

— Nikhil Saluja

Every Alchymist is a Physician or a Sope-boyler.

— Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa

We do what we must, and call it by the best names.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

You will always have value and nothing can change that.

— Elizabeth Smart

Hearing your robot voice while talking into a fan

— Anonymous