“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
Mom:What did you learn at school today? Me:Apparently not enough. I have to go back tomorrow — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most that any of us know, is the least of that which is to be known. — Benjamin Whichcote Copy Share Image
When evening quickens in the street, comes a pause in the day's occupation that is known as the cocktail hour. — Bernard DeVoto Copy Share Image
The meaning of poetry has no sureness of direction; is like the sling, it is not under control. — Rumi Copy Share Image
If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny. — Fred Willard Copy Share Image
I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers. — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
When I started, I wanted to be thought of as tortured and seductive, not funny, but humor tends to be a reflexive… — Mark Leyner Copy Share Image
“Do you like flora and fauna? How about plants and animals? Because we have more of that beautiful crap than we know… — Colin Nissan Copy Share Image
My granddad was very funny and I really loved making people laugh. I used to do puppet shows and I really liked… — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
“Beatrix wished she were a swooning sort of female. It seemed the only appropriate response to the situation. Unfortunately, no matter how… — Lisa Kleypas Copy Share Image
The funny thing is that I write and I act a lot about being Jewish, but I don't really think about it… — Liev Schreiber Copy Share Image
Nobody can misunderstand a boy like his own mother. Mothers at present can bring children into the world, but this performance is… — Norman Douglas Copy Share Image
