You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Canada Day, I'd love to go out for some traditional Canadian cuisine if there was such a thing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm an American, I don't have to see something to know it's stupid! — Tommy Smothers Copy Share Image
My boyfriend isn't allowed to watch E.T, why the fuck does he wanna watch his ex girlfriend find her way home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Is it really hard to let go of someone or is it because you still hope there's a chance? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I try to hook you up every day. What's the point of calendars without dates?” — Lauren Kate Copy Share Image
Being comedic is a skill, because there is a fine line where the context is important. And being dramatic is just being… — Bob Odenkirk Copy Share Image
Animation is very similar to sketch comedy: you have a short amount of time to do something big and ridiculous and funny. — Alex Borstein Copy Share Image
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“Shergahn and friend lay like poleaxed steers, and the Daranfelian's greasy hair was thick with potatoes, carrots, gravy, and chunks of beef.… — David Weber Copy Share Image
I prefer to avoid the phrase 'strong women' when talking about female characters and the lack thereof or the need therefore, because… — Zawe Ashton Copy Share Image
My parents have always had a great sense of humor. And I really appreciate good humor in songs, witty lyrics that sneak… — Kacey Musgraves Copy Share Image
My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
