“Sometimes I get advice from the fictional characters in my dreams. Sometimes It’s good, and sometimes it’s nonsensical.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. The king decreed we could only speak one word, and that word would be assigned to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. Knowing that women like to buy two things above all else, shoes and purses, I combined… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were trying to understand the nature of nature, and I was trying to understand understanding.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were in the oil business, and I sold icy roads for a living. You didn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Then he cocked his head to the side, arched his left eyebrow like a drawbridge, and said, “I am you in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dreams have one-way doors—the door you enter cannot be exited from, and the door you exit from cannot be used for reentry.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I asked you out to coffee, and you said, “No thanks. I’m a recovering insomniac.” I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I dreamt it in my dream. You tried to steal my dream—the whole thing. But even though it was a dream, it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only in my dreams. I can… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream I took the form of Chuck Norris and kicked your ass. Then I impregnated you from across the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dreams have wings. But not soaring eagle wings, more like the wings of a butterfly—colorful and easily ripped off. The last… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love with my eyes closed, because I make love in my dreams. If you wanted to go for seconds, we… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You owned a farm, and you grew teamwork, because yours was an ant farm. I was… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You took control of my body and forced me to have sex with you. Then you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were two lovers disguised as librarians. We met in the non-fiction section, and that’s the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You wanted to go for a walk, and I wanted to start a parade. I suggested… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing you away from the man of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
