“When you pay for security, it seems like you’re paying for nothing—and that’s the point. You’re paying so nothing happens. Safety is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I removed all the doors to our love, so you can’t lock yourself away from me. But I didn’t stop there. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Security shouldn’t enforce, they should massage situations, without laying a hand on a guest.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am the best Betsy the world’s ever unknown, and I wish people respected my privacy enough to spy on me and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The light lulls you into a false sense of security. But if the dark should come suddenly and silently, you’d stand out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick outside your front door, and you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used for job security, like an employment paperweight. Hey, in this economic depression, I’ll take anything I can… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I didn’t work security at the dodge ball factory, but I was a bouncer.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
