One of the first things you ever learn as a stand-up is don't show fear. — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I wanted to be a comedian, but I wasn't funny enough to do it every night. — John Popper Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian, and my comedy has never endorsed violence towards gays. — Sam Kinison Copy Share Image
Ricky Gervais would have you believe otherwise, but Sacha Baron Cohen is the most successful British comedian in the world. — David Walliams Copy Share Image
There aren't many opportunities to be a comedian on TV anymore, it's a lot of panel shows. You don't get much stand-up. — Richard Herring Copy Share Image
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun). — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
As a comedian you are making yourself vulnerable in order to make others happy. — Margaret Cho Copy Share Image
For some reason I get advertised when I travel as a political comedian, which I'm not. Sometimes I talk about it and… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
You don't know that you're not a solo artist or standup comedian or drag cabaret artist until you try it. — Jinkx Monsoon Copy Share Image
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I think there is a weird loneliness that comes with being a comedian. There is something definitely inside the personality of a… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Comedy is something that I'm definitely looking to get into. I had a little taste of it and I do intend on… — Ashley Greene Copy Share Image
I admire Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet. I like a lot of comedians. I like Cameron Diaz - she's funny and has… — Catherine Deneuve Copy Share Image
It's 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It's enough people of substance that it makes… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working… — Amy Schumer Copy Share Image
I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company,… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Most comedians want to be the architect of their own embarrassment. They have horrible self-esteem issues. I would rather push myself into… — Mike Myers Copy Share Image
And as Craig Brown - he's an English humorist, not a comedian but he's just a writer and humorist - I'm quite… — Nick Lowe Copy Share Image
The first comedians I became fascinated with were the Marx brothers. I couldn't get enough of them. Later in life, I thought,… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I remember, when I was in university I studied history, and there was this one major historian of the Third Reich, Ian… — Sacha Baron Cohen Copy Share Image
If the audience is responding very well to comedians that are hacks, and I don't do well, I don't feel as bad,… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian.… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
