I was actually pretty shy in school. My defense mechanism was to be the class clown. I remember getting into a lot… — Adam Clayton Copy Share Image
I never really thought of myself as a sex goddess; I felt I was more a comedian who could dance. — Rita Hayworth Copy Share Image
The problem with a lot of comedy clubs is not that they are a comedy club; it's just the cheesy way they're… — Todd Barry Copy Share Image
Ultimately, an audience wants to laugh. That's who they like, the comedian who makes them laugh. — Ted Alexandro Copy Share Image
Comedians are - at the end of the day, we're just a bunch of people that lack a little bit of -… — Russell Peters Copy Share Image
I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but its entertaining, and it helps you… — Rory Bremner Copy Share Image
Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.' — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
The thing with the comedian is you can make all the jokes you want and not every joke it going to be… — Bianca Del Rio Copy Share Image
As a comedian, you're kind of like a blues musician; you have to live a little bit. — Kevin Nealon Copy Share Image
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
I don't believe in burning holy books, but I am organizing a protest. I'll be burning all my Dennis Miller VHS cassettes… — Andy Kindler Copy Share Image
I made sure that instead of people making fun of me, like every comedian probably says, I made fun of myself first… — Eliza Coupe Copy Share Image
I had a lot of bad jobs but the one big internship I had is I interned for 'SNL' when I was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
There's no reason to be doing comedy during the day in a hot tent. I don't know why anyone thinks it's a… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The tags in this business don't leave you... When I was a VJ, they called me VJ-turned-actor, then I turned into a… — Ranvir Shorey Copy Share Image
I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a… — Adam Sandler Copy Share Image
I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't know why you'd go to a comedian and say, "You know what? You have a large menu of items, but… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
When I was a teenager, I met a comedian who I admired, and he was very rude to me. That's why when… — Stephen Merchant Copy Share Image
