Ask me Quote by Chelsea Handler

“Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.”

Chelsea Handler

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I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

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I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run…

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At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and…

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A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the…

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It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is…

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“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity…

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I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have…

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Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed…

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I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

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I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just…

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“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.”

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Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn…

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Young men, especially in America, write to me and ask me to recommend “a course of reading.” Distrust a course of reading! People who…

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I'd always have grease in at least two places, in case the umpires would ask me to wipe one off. I never wanted to…

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I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I…

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I am a practicing Catholic, but my lineage is Jewish, so if someone asks me if I'm Jewish, I say yes.

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Why did Erich von Stronheim leave Germany? Why did Hitchcock leave England? If you were a director you'd like to work in Hollywood too.…

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I am a conservative type of person, so sometimes when I'm chilling with myself, people always come ask me, 'What's wrong with you? What…

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I have no hesitation in saying that although the American woman never leaves her domestic sphere and is in some respects very dependent within…

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My identity shifted when I got into # recovery . That's who I am now, and it actually gives me greater pleasure to have…

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If you ask me to tell you anything about the nature of what lies beyond the phaneron… my answer is “How should I know?”……

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When a young artist asks me a question, I want to do what I can to give them an answer if I have it…

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I've never asked a girl out in my life, they have to ask me.

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I would do almost anything Tina Fey asks me to do.

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Ask me Quote by Chelsea Handler

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