Marcus Brigstocke

I spend my jollity on stage, so there is less in my own life.

— Marcus Brigstocke

Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent,…

— Marcus Brigstocke

All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say…

— Marcus Brigstocke

“If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic…

— Marcus Brigstocke

“We humans who art on Earth Humanity is special Our kingdom has come Do what we innately know to be right On…

— Marcus Brigstocke

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

— Marcus Brigstocke

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to…

— Marcus Brigstocke

I've spent a lot of very happy times in Edinburgh as a result of playing virtually every festival since 1996. It's also…

— Marcus Brigstocke

“I'd like to start this week with a request, and this one goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions:…

— Marcus Brigstocke

Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go…

— Marcus Brigstocke

I'd lie in bed in my dormitory and grab at bits of my body, wanting to tear them off... I was so…

— Marcus Brigstocke

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.

— Marcus Brigstocke

There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up…

— Marcus Brigstocke

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either…

— Marcus Brigstocke

The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do…

— Marcus Brigstocke

And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up…

— Marcus Brigstocke

The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones.

— Marcus Brigstocke

I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was…

— Marcus Brigstocke

Britain is obsessed with political correctness.

— Marcus Brigstocke

I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them.

— Marcus Brigstocke

I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role.

— Marcus Brigstocke

Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who…

— Marcus Brigstocke

I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm…

— Marcus Brigstocke

Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.

— Marcus Brigstocke

I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control.…

— Marcus Brigstocke