If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit. — Kevin Nealon Deals Copy Share Image
Don't play dead with a vulture. That's exactly what they want. — Kevin Nealon Exactly Copy Share Image
A special validates you as a stand-up by documenting your material. — Kevin Nealon Comedy Copy Share Image
As an actor, you're always reading scripts looking for something good. — Kevin Nealon Actor Copy Share Image
I've noticed a surge when I go out somewhere, or if I'm doing stand-up. — Kevin Nealon Comedy Copy Share Image
Breaking News: Winds so strong in NYC The Statue of Liberty's gown just blew off! — Kevin Nealon Breaking news Copy Share Image
I don't smoke pot or cigarettes, so inhaling smoke as a non-smoker - it doesn't matter what it is, it's going to… — Kevin Nealon Cigarette Copy Share Image
When a show has been on for so long, you lose fans, you gain fans. I remember this from 'Saturday Night Live.' — Kevin Nealon Fans Copy Share Image
When I began doing stand-up, it took me a long time to get an hour's worth of material together. — Kevin Nealon Comedy Copy Share Image
I think Little Nicky was a divergence from the films Adam Sandler was used to doing, and he was taking a risk.… — Kevin Nealon Adam Copy Share Image
Saturday Night Live was a show that I never thought I would be on, because I didn't do sketch comedy and I… — Kevin Nealon Comedy Copy Share Image
I learned how to draw from being bored in school. I would doodle on the margins of my paper — Kevin Nealon Artist Copy Share Image
You don't have to swim faster than the shark, just faster than the person you're with. — Kevin Nealon Faster Copy Share Image
When I would see my friends with their kids, I was envious that you can use children to get out of just… — Kevin Nealon About Copy Share Image
It is unconscionable for children in our prosperous country, or anywhere for that matter, to go without food. I implore everyone to… — Kevin Nealon Action Copy Share Image
I think the education system is great just the way it is. There's kids in my neighborhood in Los Angeles, seven years… — Kevin Nealon Education Copy Share Image
The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end.… — Kevin Nealon Commercials Copy Share Image
I went to school for marketing and advertising, so I have a special interest in good and funny commercials and why they… — Kevin Nealon Advertising Copy Share Image
I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all… — Kevin Nealon Appreciate Copy Share Image
There's so many vegetarian foods now that are available at the market . The same with drive-throughs. Now, a lot of them… — Kevin Nealon Available Copy Share Image
I see the love in my child's eyes when he sees me, and I know it's gigantic. As an older person, I've… — Kevin Nealon Amount Copy Share Image
Me and Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel and Dana Carvey wrote a script called 'Hans and Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,' and it… — Kevin Nealon Action Copy Share Image
Roxanne came along in '86, when I was doing a lot of stand-up. I auditioned for the movie, and of course I… — Kevin Nealon Comedian Copy Share Image
A whole generation of people that didn't know me from 'SNL' recognize me from 'Weeds' now. People recognize me once in a… — Kevin Nealon Accountant Copy Share Image
I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so… — Kevin Nealon Born Copy Share Image
What happened was, I always wanted to be a singer/songwriter kind of guy like a James Taylor or Crosby, Stills and Nash… — Kevin Nealon Always Copy Share Image
I play a lot of sports. I'm not real good at any of them. I'm above adequate. — Kevin Nealon Adequate Copy Share Image
Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing. — Kevin Nealon Disappointing Copy Share Image
It seems like all the sitcoms on now, the families are kind of dysfunctional. — Kevin Nealon Dysfunctional Copy Share Image
Workers insist that they are not disgruntled. They are very gruntled. — Kevin Nealon Disgruntled Copy Share Image
When you discover that you are going to have a child, it stirs up memories of your own childhood. — Kevin Nealon Child Copy Share Image
I became a vegetarian after I became aware of factory farming and slaughterhouses and the torture and inhumane handling of all these… — Kevin Nealon Animal Copy Share Image
I tried to read the Bible, I did, but it always felt like a much less awesome Lord of the Rings. — Kevin Nealon Bible Copy Share Image
I think I sent out some résumés for marketing jobs, and they all came back in the mail because I didn't have… — Kevin Nealon Enough Copy Share Image
It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold! — Kevin Nealon Audience Copy Share Image
