Audience Quotes by George Carlin

11 Audience quotes by George Carlin

All Audience quotes George Carlin’s page

Carlin never missed a chance to poke fun at the very people he addressed. In this brief set, his trademark sarcasm and razor‑sharp observations turn the crowd into both subject and punchline, giving you a taste of his relentless wit.

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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.

George Carlin

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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

George Carlin

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Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

George Carlin

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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

George Carlin

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I saw Danny Kaye in a movie, and he was doing voices and faces on that big, big screen and making whole…

George Carlin

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But when you're in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you're guiding the whole being…

George Carlin

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I set out to become a comedian, and I said in order to do that the first thing I'll do is become…

George Carlin

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I'm not an angry person, just very disappointed and contemptuous of my fellow humans' choices - and on stage those feelings sometimes…

George Carlin

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I think of shock as kind of an uptown form of surprise. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a…

George Carlin

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That's basically what the drive is: "I want to be famous, I want to be noticed, and I want to be approved…

George Carlin

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I think you can talk about anything if the context is correctly arranged. If you set up the context and you bring…

George Carlin

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More by George Carlin

I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind.

George Carlin

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With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.

George Carlin

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Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken…

George Carlin

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“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both…

George Carlin

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“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out…

George Carlin

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I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.

George Carlin

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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.

George Carlin

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“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital…

George Carlin

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You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

George Carlin

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It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,…

George Carlin

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Is there another word for synonym?

George Carlin

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The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the…

George Carlin

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These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

George Carlin

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

George Carlin

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What was the best thing before sliced bread?

George Carlin

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