Humor Quote by A. S. King

“Beer now,bitch later.”

— Scott Lynch

“Running my hands up my waist, cupping my breasts, I taunted, “I’m not hungry for food, maître. Who needs dinner when I can suck…

— Pepper Winters

“Robin used to hate to see me eat. I chewed too long for her taste. One day I figured it out. She had put…

— Bill Callahan

“Nobody said anything while I opened the bag and took out the egg salad sandwich. It was one of those funny moments when a…

— Jonathan Lethem

“Which one of you bitches is my mother?”

— Shirley Conran

“When trying to find the words to tell her how much I loved her, I stumbled across the ingredients for grilled cheese sandwiches. That’s…

— Jarod Kintz

“What if it wasn't the guy from the bar? What if it was some freak out looking to whack some chick off because his…

— Dakota Cassidy

“...root beer floats are the stuff that toasts are made of.”

— Sandra D. Bricker

“I scowled and stabbed begrudginly at the stack before scooping up a bite with my fork, but it toppled over and plopped into my…

— Courtney Allison Moulton

“Oh,” Lauren added, “and to make my life even more perfect, this idiot boy—the dude who was at the dining-table when you dropped me…

— Robert Muchamore

“The chef grabs the guy's wife/girlfriend by the hair, bashes her down on the table, and slams the meat cleaver into the back of…

— Jeff Strand

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be…

— Frank Carson