“What? It’s not my blood!” “Let me see it,” Julian demanded, and a moment later there were sounds of a scuffle from… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
“You love SITUATION COMEDIES, whilst holding particular affection for MUSTACHIOED FUNNYMEN. You know, your FOXWORTHIES, your FUNKES, your SWANSONS, but not necessarily… — Andrew Hussie Copy Share Image
“I used to ask myself, ‘Sergei, would you rather spend your money on drink or women?’ and thanks to the club, I… — Melika Dannese Lux Copy Share Image
“Girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say no when they mean yes, and drive a man out… — Louisa May Alcott Copy Share Image
“What was it you called me? Hell’s overlord who wields his lucky pen like it’s… what was that last part?” Enough! Elise’s… — Elijana Kindel Copy Share Image
“Do you come here often?' I ask. As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I cringe. Way to go,… — Mila Gray Copy Share Image
“CREONTA: Rope! My rope! Hang those two thieves by the neck until they are dead. THE ROPE: Alack, but vile and ill-natured… — Hillary DePiano Copy Share Image
“I'm running late, but there's always time to scribble weird messages in guest signage books. Also, am I really late? The Catholic… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m not interested in teaching books by women... Usually at the beginning of the semester a hand shoots up and someone asks… — David Gilmour Copy Share Image
I love comedy. There's just something so great about making people laugh. And for me, too, whenever I laugh, it just makes… — Stefanie Scott Copy Share Image
“And there was this sweet-looking little old lady with her white hair in a bun and everything, the typical grandmother type, and… — Vivian Vande Velde Copy Share Image
I can't claim to feel like I've been under some man's thumb in comedy. I've sort of always done my own thing… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
“When we entered a classroom we always tossed our caps on the floor, to free our hands; as soon as we crossed… — Gustave Flaubert Copy Share Image
I like to invest as a performer in the director's vision and then bring a sense of reality to whatever I'm doing,… — Amy Seimetz Copy Share Image
“Was she pregnant then?' asked Assad. Judging by the number of family members in his photos, it was a feminine condition with… — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
“Smacking his arm lightly, she leaned back. "And Adam is way nicer than his brother." "A rabid hyena is nicer than Andrew,"… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Since I came to the White House, I've gotten two hearing aids, had a colon operation, a prostate operation, skin cancer, and… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
“Roar's smile widened. "I know. You missed me." She rolled her eyes. "It's barely been three weeks since I last saw you."… — Veronica Rossi Copy Share Image
“Hey, Melissa-is there anything I should know about having this kid that isn't in the books I've been reading?" Sunlight streamed through… — Kim Bongiorno Copy Share Image
“Here is everything I know about France: Madeline and Amelie and Moulin Rouge. The Eiffel Tower and the Arc de Triomphe, although… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
“She cried the first time she was pulled over by a cop. I explained to her that there is no reason to… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Edinburgh is the most pressurised environment to do comedy. You get an hour. There's no compere. You'd better be on the money… — Dominic Holland Copy Share Image
“Greg was a supernice guy and a good tenant.” “I met him only once, but he seemed pretty cool,” I said. “Of… — Diana Rowland Copy Share Image
The difference between farce and humour in literature is, I suppose, that farce strums louder and louder on one string, while humour… — V. S. Pritchett Copy Share Image
“Are you going to let me be eaten?' Billy Beecham looks stunned. 'Don't you know that sometimes Beast collectors get collected?' I… — Maria Dahvana Headley Copy Share Image
“Six flights up I smelled it. Faint at first and then gradually stronger - the eye-watering stench of fermented sugar. I felt… — Kelly Meding Copy Share Image
Art happens no hovel is safe from it, no Prince may depend upon it, the vastest intelligence cannot bring it about, and… — James Whistler Copy Share Image
“He had no intention of actually kissing her. Knowing Jenny, she probably put on arsenic tainted lipstick every morning. But she’d been… — Anne Garboczi Evans Copy Share Image
I am against the war, but I do support our white troops. No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm not a Republican. I'm… — David Cross Copy Share Image
It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There's some sort of… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
“There were a lot of terms you had to learn, as opposed to the shylock business where all you had to know… — Elmore Leonard Copy Share Image
I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers,… — Malcolm Muggeridge Copy Share Image
“He left as silently as he'd come. Pierre LaManche favored crepe-soled shoes, kept his pockets empty so nothing jangled or swished. Like… — Kathy Reichs Copy Share Image
“The thing is, Fallon . . . I told you before to lock the door if you wanted me to stay out.… — Penelope Douglas Copy Share Image
I've always felt that there's a lot of similarity between doing a comedy and doing a scary movie because jokes and scares… — Paul W. S. Anderson Copy Share Image
A favorite film of mine is 'Office Space' and I love 'The Hangover.' That is a really good comedy from character in… — Seth Gordon Copy Share Image
I've been a musician and a songwriter for years, since I was a teenager, and made my living doing that on and… — Rachel Parris Copy Share Image
When I was little, I had this old video camera, and I set it up, and I would pretend that I was… — Christina Grimmie Copy Share Image
“Oh Blimey O‘Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave… — Louise Rennison Copy Share Image
“Dandy," Martin replied, once again pleased with his response. A girl can make a guy feel good, great, and even fabulous, but… — Matthew Dicks Copy Share Image