“I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty women… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
Blame it on circumstances, but I am actually being penalised for doing good work. I did good comedy so everyone is making… — Arshad Warsi Copy Share Image
“It was a simple meal, but ideal for preventing constipation. Constipation was one of the things she hated most in the world,… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
We're a family with a pretty light sense of humor but, still, on the anniversary of my mom's passing we don't feel… — Marcela Valladolid Copy Share Image
“He snuffles. Oh, no. He's not going to cry, is he? Because even though it's sweet when guys cry, I am so… — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
“What?" I said, suspicion starting to rise in me. "When did they start coming after you?" "Was it— was it after the… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
Even in drama, I like to try to find the humor because I think it's very human. Even in the depths of… — Colm Meaney Copy Share Image
“I got to third base. At baseball practice the following Monday, that is. As for what happened that night with Kevin at… — Brent Hartinger Copy Share Image
The administration Ill bring is a group of men and women who are focused on whats best for America, honest men and… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Henry, you mustn’t mind. It is really a kindness to have him.’ ‘Well, I do mind, Emily,’ said Mr Leslie, getting up.… — Angela Thirkell Copy Share Image
“That’s what you do. With your father. You flip it. Just sort of own whatever it is. Not just with him. You… — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
My dad was very much a John Wayne kind of guy, but he was also a great guy, great sense of humor,… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“If this had been a public-school locker room, there would have been some gray jumbo-sized garbage cans nearby, and I probably could've… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a… — Dora J. Arod Copy Share Image
“Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
“The Super Constellations took three days to reach London [from Australia] and lacked the power or range to dodge most storms. When… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories,… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
“Nobody think about that broken heart... life goes on, broken heart never join together but it tries very hard to get joined… — Shahid Islam Copy Share Image
My girlfriend is named Lynn. She spells her name "Lynn". My old girlfriend's name is Lyn, too, but she spells it "Lyn".… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“ Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Seriousness is the refuge of the shallow. There are events and personal experiences that call forth seriousness but they are fewer than… — Rita Mae Brown Copy Share Image
“Here.” He spread his legs wider and patted the floor between them. “You’ll be warmer, and I promise I won’t grope you… — Meg Maguire Copy Share Image
“The essence of Christianity is told us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the tree… — Frank Zappa Copy Share Image
I'm going to keep doing the comedy and the art that I do. I'm going to keep uplifting marginalized voices, and I… — Phoebe Robinson Copy Share Image
We've progressed well beyond the four humors in the two thousand-odd years since Hippocrates, but we still haven't satisfied the urge to… — Maria Konnikova Copy Share Image
“As rain began to fall, Aldric worried the old machines would not be able to survive the weather. "Hand me that oil… — Jason Hightman Copy Share Image
“I was really putting a lot of pressure on this beer prop; it was going to distract me enough so that I… — Jessica Fortunato Copy Share Image
“Do you know why hurricanes have names instead of numbers? To keep the killing personal. No one cares about a bunch of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“The only thing I remember about him now is that he shaved his legs. I was surprised at how much I dug… — Tiffanie DeBartolo Copy Share Image
We had a Judeo-Christian ethic hanging around a couple thousand years that didn't help erase racism at all. So the notion of… — Norman Lear Copy Share Image
“The case was becoming serious. It was now past midnight. The hotels at Shiplake and Henley would be crammed; and we could… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“Hurray', shouted Glokta. 'Porridge again!'He looked over at the motionless Practical. 'Porridge and honey, better than money, everything's funny, with porridge and… — Joe Abercrombie Copy Share Image
My favorite work is The Full Monty because I got an Oscar for it. But it was really hard work at the… — Anne Dudley Copy Share Image
“... the story of my marriage, which is the great joy and astonishment of my life, is too much like a fairy… — Ann Patchett Copy Share Image
“Says O'Sullivan to me, "Mr. Fay, I'll have a word wid yeh?" "Certainly," says I; "what can I do for you?" "Sell… — Jack London Copy Share Image
Although there have been witty big menOscar Wilde comes first to mindwit and humor seem more in the province of the smaller… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled. "Really?"… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
“For some the journey of highschool was probably pleasent or easy like swimming down a stream or walking down the street, but… — Elizabeth Rolph Copy Share Image
“These days, all I ask of Fate is that the people she hurls into my life, whether they are evil or good,… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
I think comedy is difficult, and I'm amazed so many people want to do it. I'll be buying jeans and somebody will… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image