“the flanger setting ... makes it sound as if the chord is being chewed over thoughtfully by a large genie accustomed to… — Tim Brookes Copy Share Image
“Proving nothing," said Ford. "I wouldn't trust that computer to speak my weight." "I can do that for you, sure," enthused the… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I hate turkeys. If you go to the grocery store, you start to get mad at turkeys. You see turkey ham, turkey… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Your dad used to say that our problems disappear when we laugh and I think he was right. They do, even if… — Holly Kennedy Copy Share Image
“ 'How old were you when you realized you were... different?' Logan opened his mouth, then smiled slyly, 'What sort of different?… — Lia Black Copy Share Image
I think up until the point when we started in the business, which was in the early '70s, most of the humor… — David Zucker Copy Share Image
“Incidentally, I don't know how late you were planning to stay, but there is an excellent film this evening The Snake Pit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“3) Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies… — Elizabeth Eulberg Copy Share Image
“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
“Comics know that time plus pain equals humor and that we can redeem even awful moments from the past by translating them… — Gina Barreca Copy Share Image
“When peacock spread her tail, she feels proud that everyone is talking her beauty but ,in reality she is being nude from… — Thenten Copy Share Image
“Not just in America. When I left my primary school, my father said, 'Son, you are now a man,' then he gave… — S. J. Kincaid Copy Share Image
“I just don't want to have more people to lose. It sounds mental, but I'd rather be alone than be devastated when… — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
People have been trained to believe that comedy is the five- and 10-minute segments that you see on TV. But in 10… — John Pinette Copy Share Image
A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
If you're studying Geology, which is all facts, as soon as you get out of school you forget it all, but Philosophy… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“and the HE stands up. if frenchy's could bottle him up and sell him as porn, they'd probably own half of chicago… — David Levithan Copy Share Image
If humor is not present, I tend to be concerned about the artist, or distrusting of what they're presenting - unless there… — Scott Avett Copy Share Image
I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less - I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“(There was an idea much beloved and written about by this country’s philosophers that magic had to do with negotiating the balance… — Robin McKinley Copy Share Image
I think humor is a very serious thing. I use it as a way of weakening the reader's defenses so that I… — William Collins Copy Share Image
“The cave exploded with the sound of trumpets. A heavenly choir began to sing. A surge of power ran up the sword… — Ted Mendelssohn Copy Share Image
“Spooky Twisties: All things Spooky, here begin They lay and wait, in books within. They sometimes pass, in open space. Then leave… — Terri Bertha Copy Share Image
“Friend, that was not well spoken; you seem like one who is reckless. So it is that the gods do not bestow… — Homer Copy Share Image
Honestly, one of the reasons I wanted to do a comedy next was that I just kept thinking, 'I don't want to… — Betsy Brandt Copy Share Image
“When Provine studied 1,200 episodes of laughter overheard in public settings, his biggest surprise was finding that speakers laugh more than listeners—about… — Kevin Simler Copy Share Image
“Bubotubers,” Professor Sprout told them briskly. “They need squeezing. You will collect the pus —” “The what ?” said Seamus Finnigan, sounding… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“He's fucking stone cold deadpan. His pan is so dead he could lay it in a casket and bury it at Bellevue.… — Charlotte Stein Copy Share Image
“Emma: You can demand that Pettibone retain my services, but you cannot make similar demands of the parents of the students. They… — Donna MacMeans Copy Share Image
“His heart cracked, and he fell in love. He wondered if she would marry him. “Tu sei pazzo,” she told him with… — Joseph Heller Copy Share Image
“He's like...'I thought you were just friends.' You are my friend. You're my best friend. Why doesn't he get that? Anyway...I think… — Rose Christo Copy Share Image
He was just trying to tease me - I knew that later - but he said he'd have to leave because it… — Fay Wray Copy Share Image
“What's that?" "He just fell from that tower!" "Is he dead?" "He's alive, I think." Someone bent over me. "Are you alive?"… — Liesl Shurtliff Copy Share Image
“He texts back: I love you. I'm starting to text back, I love you, too, when my phone rings. It's Peter's house… — Jenny Han Copy Share Image
In Buddhism, they say attachment to anything only leads to suffering. So when we laugh, it's our way of saying, 'I'm unattached… — Jason Mraz Copy Share Image
Audiences like me doing action and comedy. I am a jovial person and have been so from childhood. I like to laugh… — Ravi Teja Copy Share Image
“I want to see the king," I said, after explaining who I was. "Wonderful," said the ancient Nkumai who sat on a… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
Were I to prescribe a rule for drinking, it should be formed upon a saying quoted by Sir William Temple: the first… — Joseph Addison Copy Share Image
“So you speak French?" Isabelle sighed. "I wish I spoke another language. But Hodge never thought we needed to learn anything but… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“dark light. [Not actually an oxymoron. It's the color past ultra-violet. The technical term for it is infrablack. It can be seen… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
