“My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' And I would say, 'I'm not playin', Ma. I'm fuckin' serious!” — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Paltrow is a lovely, watchable actress. She has a likeable sense of humour in interviews. — Grace Dent Copy Share Image
“Who gets the change?" the clerk asked. "You or...your fella?" Oh, he's not my boyfriend," I said. "He's my mother.” — Wally Lamb Copy Share Image
People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even — Art Buchwald Copy Share Image
The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
“Finding any semblance of unity would require extraordinary pattern-recognition skills, a keen imagination, and a hearty sense of humor” — Paul Halpern Copy Share Image
Philip Larkin has a tough honesty and sense of humor that I find irresistible, as a contemporary poet. — Robert Morgan Copy Share Image
“This damn ring had derailed her life. No wonder Gollum had gone insane.” — Karina Bliss Copy Share Image
“He just wasn’t into flaunting his awesomeness, but sometimes a person’s awesomeness simply flaunts itself, even when you politely ask it not… — Sage Steadman Copy Share Image
“You remember Ernest Angley? TV healer. He’d slap people’s foreheads—whap!—and they’d flop over, quivering like fish.” She hooted in laughter. “I used… — Daryl Gregory Copy Share Image
“There, just beyond his open palm, was our mother’s face. I wasn’t expecting it. We hadn’t requested a viewing, and the memorial… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
“Felix just sat there, not smirking exactly - or not so as you could call him on it - but clearly happy… — Sarah Monette Copy Share Image
“He has the memory of a convict, the balls of a fireman, and the eyesight of a housebreaker. When there is crime… — Michael Chabon Copy Share Image
“I sent a quick text to Adrian: I have a hickey! You can’t ever kiss me again. I honestly hadn’t expected him… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
Clearly romantic comedy is my franchise genre, I don't mind saying that, it's true. I love doing them and hopefully always will… — Meg Ryan Copy Share Image
“...daily receiving the old physician in his study; or visiting the laboratory, and, for recreation's sake, watching the processes by which weeds… — Nathaniel Hawthorne Copy Share Image
If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“When you told me you wrote a book, I laughed. Then I read it, and I wasn't laughing any more. It was… — My Husband about Demon Mine Copy Share Image
My deepest fear about doing TV, especially about doing a network comedy, was what if it felt too surface-y? What if it… — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“Jason tilts his head toward me, his hand moving slyly across his book. Stupid. Speech. Woman. ” — Cynthia Lord Copy Share Image
At the end of the day, stand-up comedy is like acting when the audience are the other characters that I'm acting with. — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
“He was rugged, sexy and mysterious, all the things I never knew I wanted.” — Kathey Gray Copy Share Image
“All human males were as fascinated with cars as they were with breasts.” — Anita Clenney Copy Share Image
“I gave up drinking coffee for you. I swapped pizza for produce, and this is what I get in return?” — Barbara Valentin Copy Share Image
'NRT' is a comedy film, which has the extreme of emotions with Vijay Sethupathi and Nayanthara as the protagonists. — Vignesh Shivan Copy Share Image
“Paranoia is just a heightened state of awareness. I didn't say it, but I repeat it often enough.” — Gerald Everett Jones Copy Share Image
“But Thor and I weren’t going to happen, ever. I didn’t tell her this. I might be a killer, but I’m not… — J.A. Konrath Copy Share Image
What shall we do with...the Jews?...I advise that all their prayer books and Talmudic writings...are to be taken from them. — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
Guy 1: hey, man, can you do me a favor? Guy 2: yeah, what? Guy 1: when I die, can you update… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
HATING is an emotional disease... so for those who hate me... Hope you get well soon... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I watched how people of India changed from social people to self diverted people, they are now started to be in their… — Dr. Poison King Copy Share Image
Our first show, 'A Little Nightmare Music,' encompasses a lot of zany humor with beautiful classical music. — Aleksey Igudesman Copy Share Image
5 Things I Find Attractive; A woman with a good sense of humor. A pretty smile. Bright eyes. Soft hair. A horrifying… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I don't do vague. If I want to call you a coward, I will bock at you in no uncertain terms.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
“Shakespeare has united the powers of exciting laughter and sorrow not only in one mind, but in one composition.” — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
I like to play the comic relief or parts that aren't necessarily comedic but that I can find the comedy in. — Chandra Wilson Copy Share Image
“Trace is cooking Nonna's lasagna." "Wow. I must see this." "He was wearing her little apron and everything." "Got a camera?” — Joss Stirling Copy Share Image
“People need irony in order to build interpersonal trust based on self-knowledge, humor and critical thinking.” — Hanzi Freinacht Copy Share Image
I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
