Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing youre life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If Patti Lupone was born to play Evita then Madonna was born to play Patti Lupone playing Evita.” — Buck Bannister Copy Share Image
“It’s not our job to pick up another’s fears or even their strengths. Work on your own fears and strengths, that’s your… — Art Hochberg Copy Share Image
“Unless you're under 12 or into role playing, you shouldn't be wearing Mickey Mouse ears #AHOLE” — Andy Ostrom Copy Share Image
“When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
I was seized by the stern hand of Compulsion, that dark, unreasonable Urge that impels women to clean house in the middle… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
“Do not ever give up trying - because eventually you will win." Judge Greg Mathis” — Greg Mathis Copy Share Image
“The gilded confines of the Beauty Hall were not my preferred habitat; like the chicken that had laid the eggs for my… — Gail Honeyman Copy Share Image
The great thing with comedy is that I don't memorize ahead of time like I did on 'Breaking Bad.' With 'Breaking Bad,'… — Betsy Brandt Copy Share Image
In every career, you are balancing or negotiating tricky waters. But, I think that's been something nice that comedy has been able… — Anna Faris Copy Share Image
Only recently - about five minutes ago, relative to the long-running human comedy - have parents been driving themselves to distraction by… — George Will Copy Share Image
“King Arthur: I am your king. Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you. King Arthur: You don't vote for kings. Peasant… — Monty Python and the Holy Grail Copy Share Image
I mostly, for someone who makes a lot of their living in comedy - and even for someone who doesn't make their… — Maria Thayer Copy Share Image
The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“These cities grew in approximately the same places as our cities do now, however different the shape of the continents was. There… — Italo Calvino Copy Share Image
If you see our films like 'Coolie No 1,' 'Hero No 1' and 'Biwi No 1,' there is a very good story… — Jackky Bhagnani Copy Share Image
“If we have to, we can all go to Hell together—maybe there's a group rate.” — Spider Robinson Copy Share Image
“Don't wear perfume in the garden - unless you want to be pollinated by bees! ” — Anne Raver Copy Share Image
Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
Probably it is impossible for humor to be ever a revolutionary weapon. Candide can do little more than generate irony. — Lionel Trilling Copy Share Image
Man is certainly stark mad; he cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
They Always Says Live Today , Fight Tommorow, But I Always Go By The Mantra,Fight Today You Might Live Tommorow. — FazeelAhmed Copy Share Image
“Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound.” — Valerie J. Lewis Coleman Copy Share Image
Chris Brown punching hoes, Ochocinco headbutting hoes, bus drivers uppercutting hoes, these hoes wont be acting up much longer! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never ask my wife about my flaws. Instead I try to get her to ignore them and concentrate on my sense… — Paul Newman Copy Share Image
Wise men are not wise at all hours, and will speak five times from their taste or their humor, to once from… — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality — Amber Tamblyn Copy Share Image
I have wanted to expand not only my comedy but also build a world with the many talented comedians I know. — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man's hunger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I parked in the tow-away zone, and when I got back, the entire neighborhood was gone. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“All of us are in the manufacturing industry - manufacturing either our own happiness or unhappiness.” — Ogwo David Emenike Copy Share Image
“It’s going to be okay, Eric," Urte said, helping me sit up. I shook my head. "Lying is my forte, Urte, not… — Shannon A. Thompson Copy Share Image
“When you look back on this moment months from now, don't forget the one word I'm about to say to you, Claire… — Georgia Cates Copy Share Image
I love Andre 3000 from OutKast. I think we'd complement each other, but I'm hoping he's got a good sense of humour. — Paloma Faith Copy Share Image
You must be a special kind of stupid to think acting like a jerk is attractive to girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using. — William Goldman Copy Share Image
The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds… — Steve Coogan Copy Share Image
“He couldn't concentrate on anything while her incredible bottom led him up those stairs like the Pied Piper of tempting asses.” — Nina Bangs Copy Share Image
![“King Arthur: I am your king. Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you. King Arthur: You don't vote for kings. Peasant Woman: Well, how'd you become king, then? [Angelic music plays... ] King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the…” quote by Monty Python and the Holy Grail](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/40f/monty-python-and-the-holy-grai_divine-providence_king-arthur-i-am-your-king-peasant-woman_1118716.jpg)
