I was able to read poets that were - allowed me to be humorous without being silly. — Billy Collins Copy Share Image
One matter Englishmen don't think in the least funny is their happy consciousness of possessing a deep sense of humor. — Marshall McLuhan Copy Share Image
“Gay people should be allowed to get married. Just because somebody's gay doesn't mean he shouldn't suffer like the rest of us” — Jeff Shaw Copy Share Image
If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween... don't. I will find you. I will hurt… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
“too much alcohol hampers people's ability to parent. That's why I've chosen to remain childless.” — Kyra Davis Copy Share Image
“To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it. — Paul Merton Copy Share Image
What I find interesting is how close you can run the laughter along the seam of seriousness, and occasionally cross it, so… — Alan Ayckbourn Copy Share Image
We come before God to pray for the missing and the dead, and for those who loved them... Our purpose as a… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged man with a penis?” “When words like ‘hump day’ don’t… — Dani Alexander Copy Share Image
“There are other ways to get back at your phone you know, if it's being naughty, you could simply make it communicate… — Holly Denham Copy Share Image
There are the horror fans that love the 'Evil Dead' because of the humor, but I'm sure it's not all of them.… — Fede Alvarez Copy Share Image
For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
“He would be atleast sixteen-old enough to have a driver's licence- and he would have crinkles around his eyes that showed he… — Beverly Cleary Copy Share Image
“‘Jane’s World’ has pushed the boundaries for mainstream comic strips: girls have kissed, punched each other, have been abducted by aliens, taken… — Paige Braddock Copy Share Image
The No 1 priority in TV comedy today is 'don't frighten the horses,' and it's probably No 2 and 3 as well. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“That’s rich, coming from you, Hellcat, I would’ve thought it was impossible for a Vampire to get grey hairs until I met… — Sharon Hannaford Copy Share Image
“Whoever says girls can't work in emergency services has obviously never dialed 911 and talked to a female dispatcher.” — Jun Li Kanashii Copy Share Image
“Ah ha!" the Doc screeched suddenly, wheeling around. "The salicylic acid! Maybe it SHOULD have been heated first!” — Clare Havens Copy Share Image
“What...what about when I'm married?” “We'll buy a cot. Your husband can sleep on that when he visits.” — Stephanie Perkins Copy Share Image
“A pelican that is wet walks with a gaited limp, and the dry fish swims alone.” — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“Should I be concerned over the obvious delight our daughter takes in the ultraviolence?" "It's genetic.” — Young Justice Copy Share Image
“And since Rebecca already placed your order five minutes ago, I can only assume that this was an excuse to check out… — Jeanette Battista Copy Share Image
Beyond the deepest tragedy there is laughter; even in the midst of tragedy there is always the possibility for laughter. — Del Close Copy Share Image
I'd actually love to do more comedy, but what I really wanna do is an indie drama - an intense indie road-trip… — Finn Wolfhard Copy Share Image
“My eyes flickered when I heard the Voice inside my head. (You mean you don’t have one? You can get ‘em at… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
“Come to think of it, Your Majesty, I believe I must still be growing. Either that, or you are shrinking.” — C.L. Wilson Copy Share Image
“Just because I like to suck cock doesn't make me any less American than Jesse Helms.” — Allen Ginsberg Copy Share Image
“I used to be a Christian, but I decided to follow the teachings of Jesus instead.” — Joni Rodgers Copy Share Image
Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor. — Stephen Hawking Copy Share Image
Understanding humor is like dissecting a live frog. It can be done, but the frog tends to die in the process. — E. B. White Copy Share Image
“To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
“I turn my head so that he doesn't see my smile and secretly curse him for making me feel special.” — Kasie West Copy Share Image
“Given his personality, I’d say exorcism makes perfect sense as a favored pastime.” — Nicki Elson Copy Share Image
“Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Americans don't like puns and plays on words, which is totally opposite in the comedy world to France or even Italy and… — Gad Elmaleh Copy Share Image
“They say a woman's loyalty only lasts as long as it takes her to hang up and dial again.” — Kim Gatlin Copy Share Image
“Romance is like maintaining a car. If you do a good job of it, you will always have a dependable quiet ride.” — T.R. Wallace Copy Share Image
