Comedy is something that we can all share, no matter what language we speak or our background, it has the power to… — Paul Goodman Copy Share Image
Have you ever wondered if those dollar bills in your wallet might have once been in a strippers butt? You're wondering now... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He knew she loved him in that moment. Gabe never wanted to be part of the holy fight, but now he was,… — Wendy Owens Copy Share Image
I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad,… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I'm a firm believer in the saying that goes, 'If you want to make god laugh, tell him your plans,' kind of… — Jacob Collier Copy Share Image
“Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom!… — Martin Leicht Copy Share Image
I think the source of SpongeBob's humour is classic, and that's always appealing. — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
What I like the most about you is that you can make me laugh, when nothing's even funny. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“Okay." Nate took a deep breath. "Now that we're all caught up on the new no-no's of the house, what do you… — Chelsea Fine Copy Share Image
“These dogs are not fighting." "Yes they are. Like the paintings we saw in the Louvre," said Lucien. "Gecko-Roman wrestling Father called… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“I need to stop saying LMAO because that is precisely what's happening; I wish I could rewind time by two decades, immortalize… — Donna Lynn Hope Copy Share Image
“The remnants of my dress hung like tentacles and from my back arched a pari of towering wings, feather-light but suggesting enourmous… — Alexandra Adornetto Copy Share Image
“Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“You’re a fool,” Quinhelm accused. “Any man who would allow himself to be bewitched by a woman needs a good dunking in… — Ann B. Keller Copy Share Image
“...'Well, I think of you as a straight shooter, Sheriff, but one who can't stop lustin' after the goddamn ineffable.' "She said… — Robert Coover Copy Share Image
“Nowadays the standards had plummeted so far that I failed even at being a failure. I silently packed up. Nothing else was… — Arthur Nersesian Copy Share Image
When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I love you , and I will never ever leave you. and I'm the sweetest liar you'll ever knew. — Ahw Copy Share Image
“You are not in a fit state to come here, if you can't come here without spluttering like a bad pen.” — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Everything about starting out in comedy is pride-swallowing, from handing out fliers to bombing in front of audiences. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
“He swallowed his food this time and actually spoke instead of humphing,” — Elle Klass Copy Share Image
“Great men are not known by their sizes, but by the greatness in their characters” — OladosuOlatayo Copy Share Image
“She laughed and unfastened her bra, unleashing her breasts like attack dogs” — Nev Fountain Copy Share Image
“Never allow yourself to be sapped of your extraordinary energy that is the necessary ingredient for creating something new and progressive.” — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“You have points on the tip of your ears." she tilts her head and stares at me." like a big, tall elf.” — Pam Bachorz Copy Share Image
I'm a big fan of independent girls who are strong-willed, vocal in their opinions, and have a sense of humor. — David Lambert Copy Share Image
“How would you like to star in your very own commercial?" "I'd rather swim in battery acid.” — Robin Benway Copy Share Image
“Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I need to walk past again?” — Jane Seabrook Copy Share Image
“Chocolate cured just about everything, but being a crocodile's chew-toy was on a whole other level.” — Desiree Williams Copy Share Image
It seems to me at this moment that laughing is a serious thing, that it connects us with truth and love and… — Martha Beck Copy Share Image
Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them. — Lewis Mumford Copy Share Image
“If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.” — Anatole France Copy Share Image
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Gee, what a happy place. It was like Disneyland with staplers and toner cartridges. ~ Thread Reckoning” — Amanda Lee Copy Share Image
Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding… — Brendan Coyle Copy Share Image
History always tells a story... That's why you must always clear it before your dad uses the computer! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Killed a policeman? How Vegetarian! Well, I suppose it was, so long as they didn't eat him.” — G. K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Why are hoes like 'Oh, its winter, I need a boyfriend to keep me warm?' No bitch, buy a coat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'SOS' is a typical out-an-out comedy, where I play Sanjay Dutt's brother and Ajay Devgn plays our long lost family enemy. — Mukul Dev Copy Share Image
“You know what’s not funny? Funny bones. No, at best they are only mildly amusing.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
