Humor Quotes · Page 310

The Apartment' was fun, but I enjoy comedy much more, and I feel I do it better.

— Fred MacMurray

I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of…

— Joel McHale

“And he claims another victim.” I cracked a grin. “Edwin, you’re turning this infirmary into a speakeasy.”

— Katherine McIntyre

People are surprised I do comedy! And I'm like, 'Guys, that's all I have been doing. For, like, forever.'

— Yvonne Orji

“...truly loving someone is making that person happy even if you’re not the reason behind it.”

— Kevin Anos (Vinsfortin

If I could continue to work in comedy - whether it's TV, stand-up - I will be happy.

— Esther Povitsky

Feeling supported when you are doing comedy is the best way to make comedy - at least, that's how I think.

— Nicole Byer

“Actually, I was prone to random acts of stupidity. I considered it to be one of my talents.”

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

“You'd be surprised." Charlie said. "You go to bed one night singing her a lullaby, and she wakes up listening to Limp…

— Jodi Picoult

Both Ulysses and Finnegans Wake are inexhaustible. They are celebrations of the ordinary, compelling reactions to philosophical elitism about "the good life".…

— Philip Kitcher

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you…

— Steve Martin

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . Then he said, "Let there be light." Which means…

— Ricky Gervais

“I stumbled through the dark underbrush again crying out as I plunged through a thick spiderweb. My arms frantically brushed away the…

— Jenn Bennett

“Richard had met Jessica in France, on a weekend trip to Paris two years earlier; had in fact discovered her in the…

— Neil Gaiman

“At sixteen, he was cursed with all the certainty of youth, unleavened by any trace of humor or self-doubt, and wed to…

— George R. R. Martin

I always think it's just best to just make stuff and to carry on making stuff, even if it's not off your…

— Alice Lowe

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

— E. B. White

People will remember a good comedy song a lot longer than they would some of the so-called straight love songs.

— Ray Stevens

“Can no prayers pierce thee? SHYLOCK: No, none that thou hast wit enough to make.”

— William Shakespeare

“Well, the truth is that his mother had six miscarriages, and three of them survived.”

— Oscar O'Rourke

If you look back, Mozart, Haydn and Beethoven were mixing music and humor all the time.

— Richard Hyung-ki Joo

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

— George Carlin

“Writing is a failure. Writing is not only useless, it's spoiled paper.”

— Anonymous

People don't come to a comedy club simply to hear someone's thoughts, no matter how profound.

— Ted Alexandro

I'll call it a smart phone the day I yell, Wheres my freaking phone?! and it answers, Im here! Under your jacket!

— Azgraybebly Joslan

“We are not in a foul humor, Belkin. We are in a corrupt-tempered moon. There is a difference, you know.”

— Rachel Heffington

“I feel like I've been ironing all day in high heels and no brassiere. ~Tizzy Donovan, Laid Out and Candle Lit”

— Ann Everett

Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

— Anonymous

A kitten is the delight of a household. All day long, comedy is played by an incomparable actor.

— Champfleury

“Yesterday Allison bought me nail polish in the annoying shade of mauve. How can anyone look at me and think mauve?”

— Katie McGarry

“I am not worthy." he said softly. "Damn fucking straight," someone growled.”

— J.R. Ward

Some say that laughter is the best medicine, Obviously they have yet to try medicine.

— Anonymous

Either you have a sense of humor about [being a former child star], or you're in rehab. There's not a lot of…

— Wil Wheaton

Doing comedy and romance is easy, if I compare it with playing the role of a real-life person.

— Ammy Virk

“when you fall; it's not the ending; It's the next chance to perform better than the last one”

— Harishankar Kaushik

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

— Mark Twain

“Between the whiskers scraggling down his neck and the now-crooked glasses, he could have been the Black Allen Ginsberg.”

— Garth Risk Hallberg

I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

— Jimmy Carr

“Next Mrs. Crupp said it was clear she couldn't be in two places at once (which I felt to be reasonable). . .”

— Charles Dickens

You can't always control who walks into your life but you can control which window to throw them out.

— Anonymous