Humor Quotes · Page 242

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

— Jackie Mason

I was always fascinated by the stand-up comedy shows from my childhood.

— Tejaswi Madivada

There's a hard shot to LeMaster, he throws Madlock into the dugout.

— Jerry Coleman

People like the comedy more when they care about the characters.

— Judd Apatow

“Oh, this has got to be something humorus.”

— Mo Rocca

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

— Steven Wright

“But if I lift my other leg, I'll fall.”

— George F. Rice

When I get emotional about something, that's usually when funny comes.

— Ralphie May

“Abandoned babies are unfortunate unwanted results of a once urgent desire to have an orgasm”

— David Cross

“Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit. ”

— Kin Hubbard

Figuring out a way to use humor to deal with important issues I think is very important. Laughter is a great diffuser.

— Colton Dunn

“And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside.”

— Robert J. Morrissette

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

— Norm MacDonald

“I'm worried that the lady's going to be a hooker - and you're afraid she's BETTY CROCKER! Molly Jane Fletcher”

— Jean Davies Okimoto

The 'Twilight' movies are great in their own right, but they certainly don't have any sense of humor to them.

— Mark Waters

“She’d run over Dankyo in an instant to get to Theo. Be a darn big bump in the road, but she’d do…

— Cari Silverwood

“There is no reason to feel embarrassed, Krysta." "Easy for you to say! You weren't caught mentally checking out my package!" ~…

— Dianne Duvall

“I hope you understand that it is not the tooth of the saber-toothed tiger I want, it is the tiger . I…

— Flannery O'Connor

“He did not have the sort of looks suited for stakeouts or tailing people. As much as he might try to lose…

— Haruki Murakami

I would love to do a small indie comedy, like a Wes Anderson movie or, like, an ensemble comedy like 'The Royal…

— Jerry Trainor

“Fine!' she snapped, the desperation to have him growing exponentially now. 'I missed you. Only you. No man could ever make me…

— Dee Tenorio

“Nick’s job is super dull. He mostly takes care of answering the phone and doing filing, and stapling things. Sometimes the things…

— Lisa Henry

“Then, like a scene in a comedy - their lips but a breath away from touching - the door to the library…

— Kady Cross

“What could I say about Bellingrath Junior High? Not much, except it was named after my secret hero, Bernard Bellingrath. But Barney…

— Cynthia T. Toney

“No she wouldn't," Miles said. "An ass is an ass”

— Jeff Abbott

I've always wanted to do a romantic comedy.

— Paula Patton

I do some of my best stand-up comedy during sound checks.

— Madonna Ciccone

Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.

— Anonymous

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

— Mitch Hedberg

“Wouldst thou both eat thy cake and have it?”

— George Herbert

I recommend anyone who wants to pursue comedy to go to The Groundlings.

— Mikey Day

“I'm not crazy, but several of my other personalities are.”

— Allen Parker

“Never send a Man in to do a Donkey's job”

— Josh Stern

Applaud my friends, the comedy is over... [on his death bed]

— Anonymous

“As the old adage goes: ‘Men plan, and God laughs.”

— Dan Brown

I work for money and appreciation. If you want loyalty, hire a dog.

— Anonymous

I am not funny in real life, but it's my work to make people laugh.

— Johnny Lever

“Sometimes you need to take a nap and get over it.”

— Maura Stuard

“The Road to Hell is Paved With Bad Intentions”

— Vicky Loebel

All higher humor begins with ceasing to take oneself seriously.

— Hermann Hesse