I'm in a serious relationship with my WiFi. You can say we have a good...connection! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When one door closes another one opens. Sometimes its just hell in the hallway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Think women are the weaker sex? Try pulling the blankets back to your side. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would have to say that I have to concentrate more when I'm doing comedy. There are so many details that make… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Right up the avenue, fly as a parachute, high as a paratroop ..ER, before he deployed, u ain't a d-boy, you a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Brain, Please start being able to tell the difference between hungry and bored. Sincerely, I am getting fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The Doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I'm sympathetic, it usually means I haven't been around people… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Diet, Things just aren't going to work between us. It's not me, it's you. You're tasteless, boring and I cant stand… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Someone needs to make an app that alerts you every time your wife/girlfriend gets a haircut, so we don't forget to notice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You never saw… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lost my pen= no pen No pen= no notes No notes= no study No study= fail Fail=no diploma No diploma =… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Faye burst into the room. She ignored Homer and went straight to the couch. Now what in hell's the matter?" she exploded.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For some stories, it's easy. The moral of 'The Three Bears,' for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house.' The moral… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“And that was it. Right there. Right there, that was the moment . . . I suddenly realized that unless something changed… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“On my way to the parking lot, in quick succession, I saw students wearing t-shirts which read, “Save the whales. Collect the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’m 100% certain of the quality of story I’m writing until I finish the outline and actually begin to write. At this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Our teachers’ best qualities—their sense of humor, their love for the subject, their excitement, their interest in students as individuals—are not being… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“REST IN PEACE, MR. PARKER. 'You want us to be surreptitious?' Hawk said. 'Surreptitious?' Sapp said. 'I educated in Head Start,' Hawk… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
