Yes, it is funny that most of the roles that I have played so far have been negative. I have been typecast… — Vishwajeet Pradhan Copy Share Image
I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Comedians have to challenge the power. Comedians should be dangerous and devastating - and funny. That's the hardest part. — Mort Sahl Copy Share Image
I'd love to do a really juicy drama that's just really real. On the comedy side, I'd love to do something like… — Daniela Bobadilla Copy Share Image
“Don't listen to him," Thalia interjects. "Our court is more civilized than whatever happens on land." "Tell that to the guy stuck… — Zoraida Córdova Copy Share Image
I don't necessarily sit down like, 'I need to write jokes.' I try to live a lot of life so that things… — Janelle James Copy Share Image
President Obama is funny, he's thoughtful, he's challenging, he's fun to work with - and it's been an extraordinary privilege. — Susan Rice Copy Share Image
The actual state of our knowledge is always provisional and... there must be, beyond what is actually known, immense new regions to… — Louis de Broglie Copy Share Image
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview,… — Lance Armstrong Copy Share Image
Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On 'Parks and Rec,' we've got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest… — Chris Pratt Copy Share Image
Most of the stories I have go downhill quickly. In all honesty most of the good stories I have, no one else… — JD Era Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Comedy is probably a lot harder for me. Maybe it's because I've been doing drama for so long or maybe it's because...… — Nina Dobrev Copy Share Image
Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body still seems to want… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't let the fact that Obama became president without having a father in his life make you feel unimportant this Father's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If you call yourself an "authoress" on your Facebook profile, you suck at life. You are stupid and your children are ugly.… — Oliver Markus Copy Share Image
Fashion is really funny because it's something that should be subjective, but there are clear things that are chic or not chic.… — Erin Foster Copy Share Image
It's funny: 'Next Thing' was written in a time of my life when I was actually really naive and thought that I… — Frankie Cosmos Copy Share Image
Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“If this happened in a Fae marriage, then the female would beat the male into submission. If she is too small to… — Sophie Oak Copy Share Image
Derangement is the only possible explanation for owning a cat, an animal whose preferred mode of communication is to sink its claws… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My philosophy is that if you're playing a moment truthfully, that it's a funny moment, then hopefully it will be funny. I… — Peter Vack Copy Share Image
“I thought you came down right on the side of go directly to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect two… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I went through in the edits and cut tons of stuff that was "funny" because if it wasn't funny at the time,… — Damian Barr Copy Share Image
“There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
You know a Girl is Mad when she starts off her sentence saying... I just find it funny how... because there is… — Kushandwizdom Copy Share Image
Side effect of excess study :p A Guy Went To A Restaurant, He Wanted To See The Menu But He Forgot WhAt… — Rock4u Copy Share Image
“He stood and looked at me for a moment, taking in my outfit. "You look hot." "What? Me?" I stammered, completely flummoxed.… — Morgan Matson Copy Share Image
I've honestly not been too aware of my age until I went to the doctor for a full check-up. He said I… — Sean Connery Copy Share Image
I'm a huge fan of 'Kung Fu Panda.' I honestly think that Jack Black's voice work in 'Kung Fu Panda' is the… — John Requa Copy Share Image
“You never got her last name, did you?” Kayden asks, covering his mouth with his hand to try and hide a laugh.… — Melyssa Winchester Copy Share Image
Celebrating the Jewish New Year is like celebrating the regular New Year except we blow into a ram's horn and have the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Hello, Mrs. Tran...I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“Two seconds later, the sound of an alarm filled my ears. ''What did you do?'' I said over the noise as he… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Pol Pot - he rounded up anybody he thought was intellectual and had them executed. And how he told someone was intellectual… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
Catch-22' is the big daddy of funny war novels. It's capacious and occasionally rambling. It's a bible of literate comedy: you can… — Jesse Armstrong Copy Share Image
