Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'm sure all actors have trouble. The guy who always plays the funny guy, he wants to be taken seriously. And there's… — Jason Momoa Copy Share Image
“Now that's a sight for sore eyes, Sebastian. Maybe I should just leave you here: the hotel maids might appreciate that. Or,… — Jane Harvey-Berrick Copy Share Image
Can't help but laugh at this dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got cock blocked by Visa. — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
“Her lips full and inviting, she has an infectious laugh and glassy cackle in her eyes, and a 2000 volt sexual charisma… — Brett Tate Copy Share Image
Doing actual comedic material is just about the most joyful endeavor ever. That's the truth. The only time it's not funny is… — Julia Louis-Dreyfus Copy Share Image
A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny, a lot of people when they ask me do I do music, they think I'm a rapper. I tell them… — Caleb McLaughlin Copy Share Image
My boss fired me from job today. Unfortunately I need you to impress our clients never means making jokes about them on… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Whether 60 or 16, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next,… — Samuel Ullman Copy Share Image
I've always had a feeling that maybe God and Satan were females.. because guys can't keep grudges for this long.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles,… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“Diesel sucked air. "You keep fondling me like that, and I might have to marry you." "I'm not fondling you. I'm looking… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Really, was there anything more amusing than watching a man in an immaculate designer suit flailing his arms like a baby bird,… — J.S. Scott Copy Share Image
Always when you can spend time with Dirk, it's amazing. Just a great time. You're never bored. You always have jokes. But… — Luka Doncic Copy Share Image
I think that I identify with Philadelphia for a lot of reasons. Without even thinking about it, I called myself 'Philly's Constant… — Kurt Vile Copy Share Image
“A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of… — Khaled Hosseini Copy Share Image
As it's your 40th birthday This, we'd like to say May you be bathed in goodness, happiness and sunshineness On this, your… — John Walter Bratton Copy Share Image
“Audrey turned to him, a sly little spark hiding in her eyes. "THe only man who gets to call me'love' would be… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money &… — Brian Andreas Copy Share Image
“Ah, damn it, lass,'he called after her. 'I've busted my stitches wide open.' 'What?'she cried, hurrying back to him. 'Let me see!'… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
Some things just strike me as funny. The way things play out just makes me laugh sometimes. It drives my wife crazy… — W. Kamau Bell Copy Share Image
The biggest frontier opens up in front of us and rather than be afraid of it, we should go forward with courage. — Linda Moulton Howe Copy Share Image
“Its mouth was wide and its teeth were wickedly pointed. He managed a brief "Hey!" and jerked away from the window...just as… — Michael Scott Copy Share Image
The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping… — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
“Noah had wandered down the aisle, but now he gleefully returned with a snow globe. He stood behind Ronan until he pushed… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There are a tremendous number of idiots who look so good. It's frightening. — Dean Cain Copy Share Image
The Americans, they always depend on a method what I call ... stupid, silly. All I ask is check yourself. Do not… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
I'm an American so its kind of hard for me to talk about 9/11. So whenever someone brings it up in a… — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
“It’s only sixteen ninety-five," I say with a flutter of my lashes. "You’re serious." I prop my hands on my waist and… — Stacey Jay Copy Share Image
God is the Truth. The Bible is the truth about the Truth. Theology is the truth about the truth about the Truth. — Richard Wurmbrand Copy Share Image
I have a pet dog, he kisses like you, his breath is like yours, he pants like you. I love him dearly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girl: Dont follow me, I already have a boyfriend. Boy: If the goal keeper is there wont we try a goal??? Always… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I dont know when exactly that UFO landed and dropped off all these stupid people here but it obviously isn't coming back… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You define beauty for yourself, society doesn’t define your beauty. Your spirit and your faith defines your beauty. — Lady Gaga Copy Share Image
Although the rudiments of snobbery are there, its finer developments are basically alien to the Australian soul - that is, if Australians… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Some guy decided that it would be funny to put that in my Wikipedia entry. He was adamant that 'Mickey' was about… — Toni Basil Copy Share Image
As a youngster, my mother and father always drilled into my head having something to fall back on. My father was kind… — Shaquille O'Neal Copy Share Image
What's nice about a lot of Wes Anderson's films is that there's a patience to it. I think that patience brings out… — Wyatt Cenac Copy Share Image
