My mirror & my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like. Hearing something that absolutely kills you inside… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, you become something else entirely. — Liam Neeson Copy Share Image
It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. I don't agree with that,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dogs are great assets to candidates, and the feeling seems to be engendered that if a dog loves the candidate, he can't… — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Gaga the person is much like Gaga the celebrity. She is very sweet, loyal, and funny with her fans, and she is… — Justin Tranter Copy Share Image
It's funny - some producers ask me, 'Man, how do you work on a Bieber record? That would kill my career.' I… — Diplo Copy Share Image
L.A. gets a bad rap, but that's not the case. Everybody's like a real family out here. I think a lot of… — Jason Nash Copy Share Image
“The Uprighters called them names and promised them an eternity of agony in the next world for their eagerness to be comfortable… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
Like a virgin, studying for the very first time...Wait, aren't you my homework from last week? I've screwed you over before! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the… — W. C. Fields Copy Share Image
I think I'm always inspired by really, really funny, amazing women, but I'm also inspired by really funny, amazing men. I think… — Cecily Strong Copy Share Image
Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who… — Marlon Wayans Copy Share Image
It looked as if a night of dark intent Was coming, and not only a night, an age. Someone had better be… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I know I deal with it, I'm sure a lot of other people deal with it: you have that little funny dig… — Kirsten Powers Copy Share Image
Holy Shit! That picture that Abby posted got over 700 likes! That is awesome! I didn't know so many people were activ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
It was absolutely marvelous working for Pauli. You could ask him anything. There was no worry that he would think a particular… — Victor Frederick Weisskopf Copy Share Image
I don't know how to be like a Bill Murray or a Will Ferrell, these guys who know how to make a… — John C. Reilly Copy Share Image
What does being a woman today mean? Is there a right way of doing it? Is there a wrong way of doing… — Elizabeth Meriwether Copy Share Image
“Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious. Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
I tend to play characters that I can infuse with certain kinds of humour. Even the baddest guy can be funny in… — Samuel L. Jackson Copy Share Image
“OK, so … hugging. How does that go? You sort of … stretch your arms out …” He does so too robotically,… — Charlotte Stein Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Botox is as common as seagulls in Sarasota, but most of the women I know who use the dermatologist’s little helper still… — Lisa Daily Copy Share Image
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We were plug sockets in the bedroom. We saw only a short part of… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general. — Jenji Kohan Copy Share Image
Life has no second edition to correct it later.It has only one edition which should be the best.So be smart enough while… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For themselves they fought, for themselves they conquered, and for themselves alone they have they have right to hold. — Thomas Jefferson Copy Share Image
“No way!" I yelled, taking it from him. "I can't believe I made a pink knife." "It's so cute! I love it.… — Kiersten White Copy Share Image
When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't… — Courteney Cox Copy Share Image
A modest ring at the bell at length allayed her fears, and Miss Benton, hurrying into her own room and shutting herself… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I'm saving all of your Facebook pregnancy updates to one day give to your child to one day give to a psychologist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's interesting that whenever I meet some of the other Bond girls, I always have something in common, and it is an… — Jane Seymour Copy Share Image
“I allowed myself a little bit of relief. That was a lot less bad than I though it would be. "Of course,… — August Westman Copy Share Image
