Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time¦theyre gone. — Yo Yo Copy Share Image
When Guante started, they thought he'd be like popcorn, one of the most popular things around. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
There is nothing like the local church when the local church is working right. — Bill Hybels Copy Share Image
What's closest to your heart is what you talk about, and if God is close to your heart, you'll talk about Him. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
Seriously, I want to make an application to detecting every images with duck face, and sell this app to facebook — RK26 Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I did turn down 'The Virgin Suicides.' I talked to the producers about it, and I just honestly told them that I… — Terry Zwigoff Copy Share Image
Everything you do, burns calories. Getting up in the morning, 100 calories; kicking the hooker out of your bed, another 100; diapering… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I don't want to come across the wrong way, which is hard when being funny or sarcastic at times, but I also… — Toni Garrn Copy Share Image
I come from a background that, when I win, people try to put me down, and when I lose, people try to… — Lance Stroll Copy Share Image
You know, it's funny because I try not to talk crap but for some reason when I start talking crap, my game… — Ovince Saint Preux Copy Share Image
Anyone who thinks they can write the perfect comedy that everyone will love is a fool. I can only write what I… — Brendan O'Carroll Copy Share Image
The summer heat has made me exhausted from trying to dress as slutty as everyone else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
'All boys are the same.' said the 12 year old girl after her 3 day relationship ended. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes a lady wants to be woken up with a face between her legs... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is better to be the cause of an effect rather than be the effect that was caused. — Richard Machowicz Copy Share Image
I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Jim said he believed it was spirits, but I says: no, spirits wouldn't say "dern the dern fog".” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“A drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich entertained the public.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky Copy Share Image
Laughing together heartily at the same thing forms an instant bond. — Liz Curtis Higgs Copy Share Image
They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope your fine arts degree taught you the fine art of being unemployable. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that. — Kevin Keegan Copy Share Image
Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens. — David Hyde Pierce Copy Share Image
It is not as difficult as I thought it was, but it is harder than it is. — Eugene Ormandy Copy Share Image
Because of all these confession pages, Facebook feels like a goddamn church now. — Satyajit Chhotaray Copy Share Image
“No kind of social system can make you more happier and secure than your own money.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Girlfriends are like credit cards, you can't get one unless you already have one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
