If women weren't meant to be in the kitchen why do women have milk and eggs inside of them? — Chris DeSoto Copy Share Image
If the world was run by women, it would be mostly peaceful with heated arguments every 28 days. — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
I love him who seeks to create over and beyond himself and thus perishes. — Friedrich Nietzsche Copy Share Image
Never tell the auidience how good you are, they will soon find out for themselves. — Harry Houdini Copy Share Image
Sorry. Im no longer in a mood to post anything anymore. someone in this house upset me.i don't want to even attempt… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Females love saying I'm single but soon when a ugly nigga ask for they number her 1st line iz awww I cant… — IG:Catone_2funny Copy Share Image
You know you're addicted to Call of Duty when you go to work, take your boss's suitcase, make beeping sounds, and then… — Alec Straub Copy Share Image
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said… — Harry Hill Copy Share Image
“Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked in poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day, or Warren's blackin' or Rowland's oil, or some… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
I had this very strict rule when I began auditioning that I wasn't gonna do a thicker accent, because it was like,… — Kumail Nanjiani Copy Share Image
“So you st that charge, and then put yourself right smack in the middle of the blast radius?" Brandt asked with what… — Abigail Roux Copy Share Image
Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which… — Tim Conway Copy Share Image
We cant and we dont READ MINDS. So SPEAK UP if you want us to know whats on your mind. — Collins Hasty Copy Share Image
If the ego rises, all else will also rise; if it subsides, all else will also subside. — Ramana Maharshi Copy Share Image
All statements about the hydrides of boron earlier than 1912, when Stock began to work upon them, are untrue. — Alfred Stock Copy Share Image
Don’t try to be anybody else because that’s what makes you not swaggy. — Justin Bieber Copy Share Image
We are never getting back together is actually about taylor swift's legs. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
I always open the medicine cabinet quietly. The sleeping pills don't like to be woken. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
It annoys me when my coworkers are running around and avoiding work while I'm avoiding work at my desk — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A writer’s life is in his work, and that is the place to find him. — Joyce Carol Oates Copy Share Image
“Big surprise, I put you to sleep. Don’t feel bad. It happens all the time.” — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
It is impossible to love a second time what we have really ceased to love. — Francois de La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
“LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
What most readers do not realize is that it takes a particular genius to write funny, to satirize. — F. Sionil Jose Copy Share Image
Everyone believes that he abounds in wisdom, but is short of money. — Marsilio Ficino Copy Share Image
He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you are free, you are not predicatable and you are not controllable. — June Jordan Copy Share Image
