“It’s obvious you think this is incredibly amusing but allow me to educate you. Men do not like to be teased.” — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster. — Ferran Adria Copy Share Image
The short successes that can be gained in a brief time and without difficulty, are not worth much. — Henry Ford Copy Share Image
When you are in harmonywith yourself, you'll be in harmony with everyone else. — Debbie Ford Copy Share Image
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I look so gross in my pics ew. Then why did you upload 120 pictures in an album called...Me? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God made every one unique, but when he came to china-COPY-PASTE-COPY-PASTE-COPY-PASTE... — Unknoen Copy Share Image
'Cause if your love was all I had in this life, well that would be enough until the end of time. So… — Justin Timberlake Copy Share Image
People may say I'm difficult but I'm not. I'm a bit shy but it's funny how I can sing in front of… — Ben Howard Copy Share Image
Definitely, I think I fulfill a very funny Indian stereotype because I love technology. It's something I've always been interested in. — Manish Dayal Copy Share Image
Three high schools. I was funny. I thought I was being funny. I just had an opinion about everything that was said… — Damon Wayans Copy Share Image
“Poncho was in a red mood slanging with rage and needed to cook himself out of it , while shoving handfuls of… — Saira Viola Copy Share Image
I'm keeping in shape, you know, gotta look good for the ladies - and certain guys. Hey, I can't control who's looking.… — Ted Alexandro Copy Share Image
I'm so upset. one of my all time FAVORITE Bieber pages got hacked. they had over 45k. it's so sad to see… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I'm constantly fighting the angry black woman stigma, the 'You're pretty, you can't be funny' stigma. — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
And do you know a funny thing? I'm almost fifty years old and I've never understood anything in my whole life. — Richard Yates Copy Share Image
Nothing makes us more cowardly and unconscionable than the desire to be loved by everyone. — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach Copy Share Image
I like to be friends with funny guys, but I don't want to date a funny guy. — Brandi Cyrus Copy Share Image
You have nothing to sell except for the image: The image is everything. — Elle Macpherson Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I sometimes feel that I'm most creative when I'm pregnant. — Georgina Chapman Copy Share Image
I'm worried this season of Jersey Shore will be less embarrassing to America than our government. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I am only sure of one thing in life, it's that it's meant to be lived! — Alex Gaskarth Copy Share Image
Patriarchal life, you’re out of date/Patriarchal life, get out of the way! — Planningtorock Copy Share Image
Sorry the Gay Pride Parade has become more about serious issues and less about giant inflatable penises. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it!.. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it. — Dick Armey Copy Share Image
There is no need to punish yourself. Simply notice what you've been choosing and choose again. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem? :P — Arnold Schwarzenegger Copy Share Image
I wish those red, squiggly spellcheck lines would show up when some people talk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife asked me what numbers to play at the lottery. I told her 'the winning ones — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I draw the line at filth and crude language. It seems to be an excuse for not being funny. — Rolf Harris Copy Share Image
There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them. — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
