As I learned from growing up, you don't mess with your grandmother. — Prince William Copy Share Image
I'll have to put more earrings on. I bet that someone could analyze me and tell my condition by my earrings. — Edie Sedgwick Copy Share Image
Music to me is like breathing. I don't get tired of breathing, I don't get tired of music. — Ray Charles Copy Share Image
When I drop something and catch it before it hits the ground, I feel like a professional ninja — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Beware of any work for God that causes or allows you to avoid concentrating on Him... — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I think disability is the last bastion of political correctness, and people need to see that disabled people are funny. You know,… — Liz Carr Copy Share Image
“You know, it’s crazy what a little perspective can do to your life. For example…cotton candy is not as great as everyone… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
When I'm stalking my exes on Facebook, sometimes I think, 'I should have never let her go.'...but most times I think, 'She… — Rudy Espinoza Copy Share Image
Son: Dad, What's Between Mom's Legs ? Dad: Paradise. Son: What's Between Your Legs ? Dad: The Key For Paradise. Son: Piece… — Ali Bassam Copy Share Image
“I giggle a little at that, then firmly cut it out. No giggling. He is not funny. He is stupid and hypocritical,… — Leah Rae Miller Copy Share Image
Everyone tries to get you to dance at clubs. They come up to you and say "You gotta dance! you gotta dance!"… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
You're everything I thought you never were and nothing like I thought you could've been. — Beyonce Knowles Copy Share Image
I just draw what I think is funny, and I hope other people think it is funny, too. — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker. — Zach Galifianakis Copy Share Image
To be right is the most terrific personal state that nobody is interested in. — Franz Kline Copy Share Image
If you're not putting out relevant content in relevant places, you don't exist. — Gary Vaynerchuk Copy Share Image
If you're wrong and you shut up, you're wise. If you're right and you shut up, you're married. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
You don't realize how easy this game is until you get up in that broadcasting booth. — Mickey Mantle Copy Share Image
How casually and unobservedly we make all our most valued acquaintances. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
I once had a life¦ THen some idiot came and told me to make a FACEBOOK account !! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never say money is hard to get. Money will hear you, and that's just what she'll be. — Reverend Ike Copy Share Image
Writing about your disappointments and your life is for your diary not Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Poetry's unnat'ral; no man ever talked poetry 'cept a beadle on boxin' day. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Youth is not measured by the age of a person, but by the curiosity a person keeps. — Salvador Pániker Copy Share Image
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
My mum asked if I read books. I said yes then he asked the name of one and I said Facebook! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number... I don't want your number, Cv Pillay Facebook — Cv Pillay Copy Share Image
