A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny being the big news every day - and the good news every day. — Charlie Adam Copy Share Image
The Imgur community, as a whole, is generally a lot more positive and a lot more funny than other communities. — Alan Schaaf Copy Share Image
How about this, you remove Funny/Model from your bio and let me be the judge of that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Left to ourselves we tend immediately to reduce God to manageable terms. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
“Feeling unable to maintain this detachment of attitude towards human- and, in especial, matrimonial- affairs, I asked whether it was not true… — Anthony Powell Copy Share Image
With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
Pilot's pre-launch brief off the carrier to his passenger in a 2-place jet: If anything goes wrong off the cat, I'll say… — Myself Copy Share Image
“I don’t know what kind of movie would put their locations scout up at a YMCA, but if I had to guess… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
It is so cool to think that there are two female, Indian actresses on prime-time American network television who are considered attractive… — Hannah Simone Copy Share Image
ªTurnoff¬ when a female treat me like a I'm female...i was at da club in this female came up to me in… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. — Navjot Singh Sidhu Copy Share Image
People just want to have a bit of fun, something uplifting, funny, that's got a melody to it. That's what we try… — Michael Dapaah Copy Share Image
That's J, E, double F, J, A, double R, E , double T... I'm double J, Jeff Jarrett! — Jeff Jarrett Copy Share Image
You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Roses are red, violets are blue, vodka costs less than dinner for two. — Michael Lazarus Copy Share Image
The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to… — Chinese Proverbs Copy Share Image
We all have that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The condition of photographing is maybe the condition of being on the brink of conversion to anything. — Diane Arbus Copy Share Image
When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they fainted of excitement. ( — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.' — George Burns Copy Share Image
What counts can't always be counted; what can be counted doesn't always count. — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I'm monogamous from time to time, but I prefer polygamy and polyandry. — Carla Bruni Copy Share Image
There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
“How funny it was. The very thing that had broken her heart, now no longer wanted. A trick of time.” — Robin Black Copy Share Image
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Being is desirable because it is identical with Beauty, and Beauty is loved because it is Being. — Plotinus Copy Share Image
Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
