I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If you have anything better to be doing when death overtakes you, get to work on that. — Epictetus Copy Share Image
There is no place for faith if we expect God to fulfill immediately what he promises. — John Calvin Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry I have issues with my boyfriend doing other men. I'm sorry I have issues with me doing other men. Why… — Laurell K. Hamilton Copy Share Image
Comedy is one genre that I really want to come my way because I was loved for my funny character in 'Khiladi… — Himesh Reshammiya Copy Share Image
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can’t fool around. If you write about someone else, you can… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“That's good," Hunter said, panting. "Keep grinning at your attacker like that and they'll think you're way creepy. And mental." I grinned… — Alyxandra Harvey Copy Share Image
“Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going… — Leigh Bardugo Copy Share Image
I remember seeing McCoy Tyner in concert, and thinking that the music was incredible, but wanting to be invited in. I figured… — John Lurie Copy Share Image
They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
On 'Bake Off' there's lots of stuff no one notices until afterwards. At the time you're too busy concentrating. All the other… — John Whaite Copy Share Image
If I'm ever murdered, I hope it's interesting enough to be the inspiration for a Law & Order episode. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instagram: Because even ugly & fat girls wanna feel like models sometimes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“We never clean at my house. We move in, trash the place for five years, then move out.” — Kimmy Gibbler Copy Share Image
'Come back here, I'm a police officer!' and I shouted back 'No you're not! You're a monster!' — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
Young man, the secret of my success is that an early age I discovered that I was not God. — Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr Copy Share Image
To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal. — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the Hell Happened to your bra and panties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Thanks for putting in extra hours to make a bullshit deadline that does not matter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It’s funny how even when you’ve lived with someone your whole life, they can still surprise you.” — Shannon Wiersbitzky Copy Share Image
Any damn fool can navigate the world sober. It takes a really good sailor to do it drunk. — Francis Chichester Copy Share Image
Politics and music don't necessarily go hand in hand. They just do for me... — Steve Earle Copy Share Image
Being funny wasn't a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
I do not hold that we should rearm in order to fight. I hold that we should rearm in order to parley. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? oh wait never mind you'll never get it — Anonymous Copy Share Image
