I miss you like The Biggest Loser contestants miss high fructose corn syrup. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you look back at 'The Fast Show,' we always shot it nicely and tried to make it look good as well… — Paul Whitehouse Copy Share Image
We turn to Marx, therefore, not because he is infallible, but because he is inescapable. — Robert Heilbroner Copy Share Image
I think I have got quite a posh Scottish accent. It's funny because I grew up in Oxgangs and Fife. — Ncuti Gatwa Copy Share Image
I'm in the lane where I can make music but also have it be funny and still good at the same time. — Jake Paul Copy Share Image
I haven't watched 'Mad TV' a lot, but I have seen some stuff on there that is truly funny. You have to… — Joe Flaherty Copy Share Image
“I would have taken Zeb, purely for entertainment value, but he had an actual date, with a real girl. That hadn't happened… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
Freedom is completely without meaning unless it is related to necessity, unless it represents victory over necessity. — Jacques Ellul Copy Share Image
Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests,… — Ice Cube Copy Share Image
'White Teeth' has far too many characters, and its plot is tortured. But Smith has an astonishing intellect. She writes sharp dialogue… — Jeff Giles Copy Share Image
Life is funny, and a lot of times, the people that I've met have really gone past anything that I've ever dreamed… — BeBe Winans Copy Share Image
There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
That was actually funny. But I don't like you. So I'm not going to laugh. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I actually think love changes everything. I think it's the only thing worth having. — David Hare Copy Share Image
“You could always tell how much trouble you were in by how much someone stretched your name when they said it.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns. — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
He is so lazy that if there were work in bed,he would rather sleep on the floor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You are not mentally developed by what you read, but by what you think about what you read. — Wallace D. Wattles Copy Share Image
As a woman, you can be funny and 50, but you can't do much else - unless you're Helen Mirren! — Caroline Quentin Copy Share Image
Every day you either get better or you get worse. You never stay the same. — Bo Schembechler Copy Share Image
That's why I was out in the streets. To make sure no one else was there. — John Matuszak Copy Share Image
Everything that happens to me is the best possible thing that can happen to me. — Chris Prentiss Copy Share Image
Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Comedy is not commercial; it is risky, because what is funny in one place isn't always funny somewhere else. — Lloyd Kaufman Copy Share Image
Nothing's free and only the cheaper things can be bought with money. — S.M. Stirling Copy Share Image
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What is focus and who has the right to say what focus is the legitimate focus? — Julia Margaret Cameron Copy Share Image
We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school. — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
I'd love to attend your wedding if it wasn't going to put overwhelming pressure on me to have my own. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
