For Halloween I'm just gonna wear no makeup and natural hair and go as a monster. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He is no clown that drives the plow, but he that doth clownish things. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Its true my mum told me to do it once and I actually went to bed haha ;P — Witches_be_like Copy Share Image
We are in danger of being stern where God is tender, and of being tender where God is stern. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
I think jokes on colour or body shaming shouldn't be made. It's not funny to crack such jokes. — Radhika Apte Copy Share Image
Be the girl everyone wants to be with Not the girl that everyone has been with... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“I broke up with this girl, and they put me with a psychiatrist who said, 'Why did you get so depressed, and… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Ladies, don't complain about why he came home so late. Take him in the room & remind him why he should get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Liza took her time sipping her tea. “That’s what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your… — Gwenn Wright Copy Share Image
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she… — Kimberly Broyles Copy Share Image
The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
White people loved 'The Cosby Show,' especially liberal white people. They loved it because it was a great, funny, well - written,… — Rebecca Traister Copy Share Image
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon Copy Share Image
Soccer's a funny sport. You never know. You might find a last-place team beating a first-place team. — Weston McKennie Copy Share Image
My legs wrap around her back, while her face in between my lap. That's what you called face time — G-Fwea D Copy Share Image
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is the language I don't understand. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always wanted to make something that was real and had heart and was funny. — Jason Nash Copy Share Image
What we are in ourselves, and what we owe to others makes us a complete whole. — Dietrich Bonhoeffer Copy Share Image
Businesses are not paid to reform customers. They are paid to satisfy customers. — Peter Drucker Copy Share Image
The Kenyans haven't done much in the last two games, in fact they haven't competed since 1972 — Brendan Foster Copy Share Image
My job is to take what I think is funny and to make other people think it's funny, too. — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
A true friend doesn't have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back. — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Happy Birthday! Aww, you remembered my birthday?! NO, Facebook told me. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
Basketball really had its origin in Indiana, which remains the center of the sport. — James Naismith Copy Share Image
Why would God bless you if all that you do, is show up on Sundays and park in the pew? — Kevin Pace Copy Share Image
WHEN CLEANING MY ROOM: 1% Cleaning. 30% Complaining.69% Playing with stuffs I just found. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some women need to walk around with a stripper pole to match their outfit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We live thinking we will never die, We die thinking we have never lived — Jason Becker Copy Share Image
