I knew that a day I took away from the work did not make me too happy. — Louise Berliawsky Nevelson Copy Share Image
You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It ar'n't that I loves the fox less, but that I loves the 'ound more. — Robert Smith Surtees Copy Share Image
When girls can't take a compliment: Your so prettyNo I'm not, I'm ugly WELL SHIT, YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes. — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
I'm not on all the time. I like to have fun and be funny, but I'm much more of a thinker. — Keenen Ivory Wayans Copy Share Image
The funny thing is more money doesn't necessarily get you what you think it's going to get you and the way where… — Alan Taylor Copy Share Image
Teaching, I find, is not the most amusing thing on earth; in fact, with a stupid lump for a Pupil, it is… — Jane Welsh Carlyle Copy Share Image
“As your abilities begin to grow, your angelic side will start to manifest itself in more noticeable ways." "My angelic side. Great.… — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
There are people who think the film 'This Is Spinal Tap' is simply a very funny 'mockumentary.' Well, with Yes, we lived… — Rick Wakeman Copy Share Image
“I remember calling the council's cemetery department to ask about body decomposition in different soil types. Once they had verified that I… — Sara Sheridan Copy Share Image
I think funny comes from tragedy and time. And I think that's where I get it. I'm able to take things that… — Bobby Bones Copy Share Image
Business, like life, is funny. We all go through difficult times, and we all have to face curve balls and challenges, each… — Ronnie Apteker Copy Share Image
My girl came down from taking a bath, gave me a wink and said, I shaved and you know what that means?… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. — Charles Lamb Copy Share Image
The best thing about Mcdonalds is that they have a lot on the meau.I love their salads! — Beyonce Copy Share Image
Guys, listen to everything she says like there will be a test on it...because there will be — Charith Thilina Copy Share Image
The sentence which bring smile on women face 'You've lost so much of weight — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“Problem was, he couldn’t masturbate his sexual desires away because he’d fry off his cock." Hector” — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
Always act the part — and you can become whatever you wish to become! — Max Reinhardt Copy Share Image
I have to live with my decisions, whether you like them or not. — Maria Irene Fornes Copy Share Image
For the 5th time: I don't wanna come to your cat's birthday party Freak! My dog is getting married that day! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They say you should never work with children or animals… Isn't that right, Rolf? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for not putting me up for adoption unless you're not really my mom... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9. — Sadie Copy Share Image
Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's so interesting to watch Ben Stiller work because he just knows what's funny. — Michael Pena Copy Share Image
SOMEONE JUST ASK ME WHEN I AM GOING TO STOP DRINKING MY REPLY WASWHEN THEY STOP MAKING IT... — DOLLAR B Copy Share Image
The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
