You never won’t know what you can’t achieve until you don’t achieve it. — Chris Parnell Copy Share Image
I wish my job was still secure enough to take days off for Jewish holidays I don't observe. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People from polland are called poles . and those from holland ? any suggestion ? :D — Melchor Lim Copy Share Image
When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true. — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
It has nothing to do with the time being right or wrong. Storms just happen. — Chris Murray Copy Share Image
“Why don't you wear those tiny shorts when you run, like they do in the movies?" His voice was low and sexy,… — Liz Reinhardt Copy Share Image
I know I can be diva-ish sometimes, but I have to be in control. The nature of my life, the nature of… — Mariah Carey Copy Share Image
When a hot guy takes off his shirt. On the outside you're like:oh, cool. On the inside you're like: dkhsfkhdkskfhd ísufhdawouepa;i — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I signed for Vancouver, it was funny because my mom didn't really want me to move away. She was concerned about… — Alphonso Davies Copy Share Image
The funny thing about 'The Naked Brothers Band' movie was that we tricked the audience into thinking that we were actually rock… — Alex Wolff Copy Share Image
It's funny. You succeed, but now where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh… — Jeff Bridges Copy Share Image
“You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
“And she says, “Then let’s just take the effing road and get ourselves to Haven.” I smile, a little. “You said effing… — Patrick Ness Copy Share Image
It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up. — Dan Castellaneta Copy Share Image
You can steal my tweets if you like, but I lick every single one before I tweet them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Mom,look! Very nice. Oh, that's cool how you saw withoutactually looking — Anonymous Copy Share Image
COMMUNISM : You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I look at people sometimes and think ¦.. Really? Thats the sperm that won! — Deep Patel Copy Share Image
“He knew you can't really be strong until you can see a funny side of things.” — Ken Kesey Copy Share Image
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: 'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.' — Author Name Copy Share Image
And who are you supposed to be? the King of snot-nosed delinquents? — Michael Buckley Copy Share Image
The hope of impunity is the greatest inducement to do wrong. — Marcus Tullius Cicero Copy Share Image
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black? Customer: What other colors do you have? — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink. — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
“Only dead fishes go with the flow.. I guess that make me a dead fish!” — Shanai Campbell Copy Share Image
It’s education that’s meant to take us into this future that we can’t grasp. — Ken Robinson Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calender? they both got 6 months… — Roumain Copy Share Image
