If I don't have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on. — Jennifer Lawrence Copy Share Image
Lf you think this page is awesome haha then you should try Keep Laughing — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If y0u want t0 die. d0nt let others suFfer on the c0nsequences that it would bring. — Meggy Copy Share Image
I'm glad we'll have a night to rehearse getting blind drunk for the actual wedding reception — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It'd be funny if one of them was called Gavin. Funny but irrelevant.” — John Marsden Copy Share Image
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer! — Louis Untermeyer Copy Share Image
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny. — Gloria Vanderbilt Copy Share Image
If guns dont kill people, but people kill people, then doesnt that mean that toasters dont toast toast, but instead toast toasts… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny… — Joseph Bologna Copy Share Image
I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
For the writer, there is nothing quite like having someone say that he or she understands, that you have reached them and… — Virginia Hamilton Copy Share Image
What readers ask nowadays in a book is that it should improve, instruct, and elevate. This book wouldn't elevate a cow. — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
Republicans can be a funny bunch. They're against affirmative action, but they always seem to be able to find people of color… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold… — Asheya Copy Share Image
If one could possess, grasp, and know the other, it would not be other. — Emmanuel Levinas Copy Share Image
Sorry girl, I know you enjoy being single, but I am going to take that away from you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im a little angel...short and sweet...dont piss me off or your ass will get beat!!! — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
When women talk to each other, the devil sits in a corner quietly, learning! ;D — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. — Sigmund Freud Copy Share Image
We're far worse than we ever imagined, and far more loved than we could ever dream. — Timothy Keller Copy Share Image
I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually its reading his own handwriting. — G Norman Collie Copy Share Image
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Occasionally even young children should listen to the sword can not work hand and hand sword can not work — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
Dear shirt, I fell in love with... I hate you. Sincerely, just saw the price tag. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Anytime I have a hammer in hand,things all around me start to look like nail — Ace Kid Copy Share Image
When God saves you, he doesn’t do it because you gave him permission. He did it because he’s God. — Matt Chandler Copy Share Image
One of the weaknesses of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced. — John Cleese Copy Share Image
