When you have something that close to you, you want to make sure that you're aware of it. — Lucy Liu Copy Share Image
I wish I remotely made enough money from my labor to afford a Labor Day vacation. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Right now is a great time to be a woman in tech, but there's not enough women in tech, — Marissa Mayer Copy Share Image
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it's too late for them to back out — Christine Copy Share Image
Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky. — Nate Copy Share Image
“In theory I rather admire the Spaniards for not sharing our Northern time-neurosis; but unfortunately I share it myself.” — George Orwell Copy Share Image
It's so funny because a lot of times we'll have these discussions as writers, and you feel like you're having a discussion… — Jason Katims Copy Share Image
“Funyuns make you fart," Caspian said, and I exploded in laughter. "What's so funny?" Ben asked. I tried to stop laughing, but… — Jessica Verday Copy Share Image
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris. — Larry Wall Copy Share Image
“What are you doing now, you lazy drunken obscene unsayable son of an unnameable unmarried gipsy obscenity? What are you doing?” — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
There are many comics around who don't really have a feel for comedy. They can say outrageous things, have clever thoughts, and… — Ronnie Corbett Copy Share Image
It's just funny because I think a long time back I was not a fan favorite at all, and now people have… — Ben Askren Copy Share Image
The best criticism is the sort that tells you what you already know but had been reluctant to accuse yourself of. — J. D. McClatchy Copy Share Image
It's better to go slowly in the right direction than go speeding off in the wrong direction. — Simon Sinek Copy Share Image
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most copywriters are like engines. They take a while to warm up to get to the point. — Drayton Bird Copy Share Image
When I go into the studio, I'm strictly for business... I don't like any fooling around in the studio. — Otis Redding Copy Share Image
Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Katie purred in pleasure as she licked the beating vein in Jared’s neck.” — Jodie B. Cooper Copy Share Image
I had my palm read. I wrote something on it first to see if she would read that too. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Maturity does not always come with age; sometimes age comes alone. — John C. Maxwell Copy Share Image
Everything we do is infused with the energy with which we do it... — Marianne Williamson Copy Share Image
The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!" — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
The state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting. — Plutarch Copy Share Image
I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. — Mike Tyson Copy Share Image
If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then I got home... — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
I really like my life. I've arranged my life so that I can do what I want. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a shitload of beer and tacos and that's close enough. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This nation is so friendly that the leading cause of injury is getting passionately embraced by strangers. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill. — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
