This book (the Bible) is not hard to understand. It's just hard to swallow. — Steve Lawson Copy Share Image
What you do for yourself, you're doing for others, and what you do for others, you're doing for yourself. — Pema Chodron Copy Share Image
And they say that money change you, but money don't change you. It just make you more of what you already are — Phonte Copy Share Image
It's funny how we sometimes laugh at others mistakes...and always cry at our own. — Ritu Copy Share Image
Sex is the only field where the amateur is favoured and the professional is disapproved. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you Save a file and then realizing you have no idea where you just saved it. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and for 29 years financially. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wanted to make sure that my act was family friendly for tonight, but I don't have babies. So I thought that… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If the sayings of the saints is accepted that this world is only a Maya/an illusion and one can attain salvation only… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
Ghetto word of the Day - Disappointment. My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gone send me back to Jail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny - there's nothing that stops you laughing like the sight of other people laughing about something else. — Michael Frayn Copy Share Image
Poetry Competition asked For A 2-Line Rhyme With d Most Romantic 1st Line & the Least Romantic 2nd Line There's d Winning… — Sadie Copy Share Image
Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with… — Joe Viterelli Copy Share Image
Creating a nickname for your crush that only you and your best friend know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive. — Ian Mcewan Copy Share Image
“If all the world's a stage, there must be one exhausted stage manager somewhere!” — Tom Althouse Copy Share Image
The meaning of poetry has no sureness of direction; is like the sling, it is not under control. — Rumi Copy Share Image
When evening quickens in the street, comes a pause in the day's occupation that is known as the cocktail hour. — Bernard DeVoto Copy Share Image
The most that any of us know, is the least of that which is to be known. — Benjamin Whichcote Copy Share Image
A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom:What did you learn at school today? Me:Apparently not enough. I have to go back tomorrow — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated. ” — Dark Jar Tin Zoo Copy Share Image
You do not create a style. You work, and develop yourself; your style is an emanation from your own being. — Katherine Anne Porter Copy Share Image
My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
...over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
Women love sex in the dark because they can't stand to see a man have a good time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Sex, Emma thought. It curdled the mind and turned one into a drooling idiot. She had firsthand knowledge.” — Kate Rothwell Copy Share Image
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
To govern is to correct. If you set an example by being correct, who would dare remain incorrect? — Confucius Copy Share Image
Two scorpions living in the same hole will get along better than two sisters in the same house. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear rapists, I've slept with morelittle kids than you ever could. -teddy bear — Anonymous Copy Share Image
