You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Cat's motto: "No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look as if the dog did it." — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If its sent by ship then its a cargo, if its sent by road then its a shipment. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I'm thankful that we can soon get back to being ungrateful, disillusioned, and cynical. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but thats not why we do it. — Richard Feynman Copy Share Image
Writing is a funny thing. It's not like you're working on a schedule. It comes in fits and starts. — Daphne Guinness Copy Share Image
It is not enough to acquire wisdom, it is necessary to employ it. — Marcus Tullius Cicero Copy Share Image
A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't… — J. J. Watt Copy Share Image
Catholic school graduates exhibit a wide variety of qualities that will not only help them in their careers but also in their… — Joe Baca Copy Share Image
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
“You and pretty Tarquin had a moment today. Do you truly think he'll join us?' 'If you mean in bed, definitely not,'… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
“Have you ever or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage, or in terrorist activities, or genocide? I think we can… — Claire North Copy Share Image
“Wow." Josh stopped and ran a hand over his shaved head. "I mean, yeah, there's no beating that. That's the Usain Bolt… — Tom Ellen Copy Share Image
The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
“You should go.' 'This is my room,' he points out, affronted. 'And that's my wife.' 'So you keep telling everyone,' the Bomb… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
People say Go to Hell like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't mind Hell, it's warm and I know people there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not… — Issa Rae Copy Share Image
I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me. — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
It's not that I don't suffer, it's that I know the unimportance of suffering. — John Galt Copy Share Image
How many things... are looked upon as quite impossible until they have been actually effected? — Pliny the Elder Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
Always do what you feel deeply in the within to be the true thing to do. — Wallace D. Wattles Copy Share Image
There seems to be hardly any one among my acquaintance from whom I have not learned. — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“Good cops make their bosses look good, and Hector was a one-man beauty school.” — Edward Conlon Copy Share Image
THAT MINI HEART ATTACK You get when you realize you forgot to do your homework — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Studying means: to text, to eat and to watch TV with an open book neatby. — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
My girlfriend isn't very punctual. She's been late on her period for 6 months now. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Science is the most complete presentment of facts with the least expenditure of thought — Ernst Mach Copy Share Image
“Revenge was an expensive sport. The question was always whether the prize was worth the ticket.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
