As funny as watching a man in a wig trying to hold down a job on a helipad — Rhod Gilbert Copy Share Image
What a women reads makes her more attractive and more elegant than what she wears. — Carine Roitfeld Copy Share Image
Im in love with my bed, were perfect for each other! But my alarm clock just doesnt seem to want us together! — Dimple Andos Copy Share Image
The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
LAziness is thE m0ther 0f aLl bad habits,. aNd sincE sHe is the m0ther,. we Have n0 choicE buT t0 respEct and… — Megz Copy Share Image
I look for ghosts; but none will force Their way to me. 'Tis falsely said That there was ever intercourse Between the… — William Wordsworth Copy Share Image
On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night.… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
That's the funny thing - if there was a year and half or two years of us being a band like every… — Ryan Ross Copy Share Image
Nevada has a very dynamic economy, with gambling being the number-one industry, followed closely by blood donorship. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I was haunted by trainers going "Up, up, up, get up." You find yourself picking your head up and then realizing, They… — Jeff Daniels Copy Share Image
I met the girl who works at the Doubletree front desk, she gave me her number. It's ZERO. I tried to call… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Could I pick some flowers for Miranda?’ I asked. ‘You cannot take these flowers,’ said Zoran. ‘They belong to the government.” — Doug MacLeod Copy Share Image
![“Ideally, if anything [was] any good, it would be indescribable.” quote by Edward Gorey](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/44b/edward-gorey-9339_funny_ideally-if-anything-was-any-good-it-woul_1912080.jpg)
