Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some laugh at me because they think I am different; I laugh at them because I think they are all the same. — Unkown Copy Share Image
Just because a thing is funny doesnt mean it doesnt have a mystery. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
If you think down, you will go down. If you think up, you will go up. You’ll always travel in the direction… — T. D. Jakes Copy Share Image
“You watch pro ball and those guys spend so much time with their hands on each other's rear ends, you'd think they… — Catherine Gilbert Murdock Copy Share Image
I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
“Riley tried not to hyperventilate or think too closely about the Alien movies and their take on extraterrestrial encounters. When he was… — J. Fally Copy Share Image
“When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“Do you ride?" She smiled, her fingers lightly sliding around his ear. "Not since I hit that barn" Zach’s hands paused on… — Shelly Laurenston Copy Share Image
