Congratulations on being in a relationship with someone who doesn't realize they're in a relationship. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I want my online content to be so good that Google’s web crawler stops and says “Dayyyum son!” — Ryan Lilly Copy Share Image
May your vibrator be fully charged upon your arrival home from seeing Magic Mike. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
Maman used to say that you can always find something to be happy about. — Albert Camus Copy Share Image
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
In the '80s, it was difficult and frustrating to appear in the theater and TV again, even though I had some successful… — David Cassidy Copy Share Image
“Mom," say Malia Obame, "why dont you go get the photo albem of dad when he was a small boy, maybe it… — Seinfeld 2000 Copy Share Image
3 Things I know about you: 1) You cannot say P without your lips touching 2) You just tried 3) Youre now smiling and Sharing this — Ronde Dawson Copy Share Image
“Easy for you to say. You're the one who got plowed. I was doing the plowing." Cam's mouth opened. Oh my God,… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I… — Ross Mathews Copy Share Image
I don't know about you, but when they first introduced bottled water, I thought it was so funny, I was like "Bottled… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“Of course, he said, he who is of a certain nature, is like those who are of a certain nature; he who… — Plato Copy Share Image
“In the dark, Dave reached for Roger's hand as they watched the shadowed lovemaking. "Were we ever that beautiful?" "You still are,"… — S.E. Jakes Copy Share Image
