New Zealand was colonised initially by those Australians who had the initiative to escape. — Robert Muldoon Copy Share Image
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
Happy Boss's Day to someone who walked into almost as big of a mess as Obama did. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
...in war, they will kill some of us; we shall destroy all of them — Thomas Jefferson Copy Share Image
When some one tells you expect the unexpected slap them and say you didn't expect that did you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Emma has been meaning to read more ever since she was twelve years old. I have seen a great many lists of… — Jane Austen Copy Share Image
You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
Last time I went Intercity there were a couple across the aisle having sex. Of course, this being a British train, nobody… — Victoria Wood Copy Share Image
I've been in the industry for 15 years, and I knew all the pieces that needed to be included to make a… — Butch Hartman Copy Share Image
There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
“First of all, I was running scams when you were at keggers at Kappa Kappa Werewolf. You don’t know much about me… — Lauren Dane Copy Share Image
There is a whole genre of funny travel writers - that's very popular. There's Bill Bryson and people who follow that route… — John Gimlette Copy Share Image
Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I can't give them anything.… — Jordin Sparks Copy Share Image
