Funny Quotes · Page 331

Justin Beiber? Uh No! Never heard of her.

— Nikhil Saluja

It’s all about loving what you got and rocking it.

— Meghan Trainor

You cant spend your life apologizing.

— Jude Law

Creativity is basically subversive. . . .

— Dan Wieden

The world loves us when we choose to love the world.

— Marianne Williamson

Shakespeare is the Joss Whedon of his generation.

— Alexis Denisof

I regret having held in even a single fart for you.

— Anonymous

The sum total of all sums total is eternal.

— Lucretius

My ideal of manliness is to be incapable of doing anything

— Robert Pattinson

Perhaps Voldemort's face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.

— Risa Schizophrenia

The more you have to talk yourself into it, the more it’s not ‘it’.

— Alan Cohen

Reality is the illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol..!

— Simi Ngr

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're so full of shit! If you're really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when your mom sits down next to you while you're on the computer

— Rashida Rowe

I'm a hard act to follow, because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

— Mitch Hedberg

Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing…

— Ritu Ghatourey

Those really long car rides with your family and you just blast your iPod, look out the window,and block out the world.

— Anonymous

“He watched in awe as she stacked up an enormous armload of music. "There," she finished, slapping Frank Zappa's Greatest Hits on…

— Gordon Korman

If a girl asks you a question, its better to just tell her the truth, chances are she's asking you because she…

— Scarlet Kim

It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny…

— Anonymous

Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life…

— Green Monk

Age has extremely little to do with anything that matters. The difference between one age and other is, as a rule, enormously…

— Anonymous

I've never been in love with Marcello [Mastroianni]. I wasn't even attracted to him physically. I admired him. I followed him and…

— Giovanna Cau

Ooooh! I love that shirt!*Checks price tag* Nevermind..

— Anonymous

I am the big sister which makes me the boss!

— Anonymous

Alcohol warning: Too much might lead to pregnancies…

— Green Monk

I tried to get a tan but I’m black already,

— 2 Chainz

It is much more rewarding to do more with less.

— Donald Knuth

Whatever you do, do it from the heart

— Abhishek Bachchan

What I seek is the highest possible batting average.

— Franklin D. Roosevelt

I would lose weight, but I hate losing.

— Anonymous

Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution, b*tches be trippin...

— Anonymous

You shouldnt wear makeup. Its messing with perfection!

— Karan

It's never paid to bet against America.

— Warren Buffett

I bet you get bullied a lot.

— Anonymous

Beauty scatters the seeds of hope in us.

— Joan D. Chittister

I like kissing people because it's funny.

— Casey Abrams

Leadership, like responsibility, is a voluntary act.

— John C. Maxwell

I think I exist, therefore I exist. I think.

— David Gerrold