There is no need to punish yourself. Simply notice what you've been choosing and choose again. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
I draw the line at filth and crude language. It seems to be an excuse for not being funny. — Rolf Harris Copy Share Image
My wife asked me what numbers to play at the lottery. I told her 'the winning ones — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them. — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
“You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss?” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
This Memorial Day weekend, it is important to remember those who lost their battle to be swimsuit-ready by summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
The thing I try to get across to the writers - and I do a lot of writing, too - is that… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's kind of sad to say now - I mean, it's funny because it worked out - but I told my mom… — Kelsey Plum Copy Share Image
“Is this why you think you are chosen by God, because only you can understand the funnies that you make about yourself?” — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
I love Kate Moss. I've worked with her a couple of times, and she is a great girl, really funny and easy… — Twiggy Copy Share Image
Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for… — F Abahusain Copy Share Image
