Funny Quotes · Page 272

We will find a way or we shall make one

— Hannibal

Nobody can be a success if they don't love their work.

— David Sarnoff

Women punish themselves for the failure to conform.

— Sandra Bartky

“Death is complicated." -Johann Kraus”

— John Arcudi

I’m not anything that you think I am

— Syd Barrett

There is nothing outside the text

— Jacques Derrida

I'm not here to make money, I'm here to make history.

— Lenny Dykstra

Eternal vigilance is the price of knowledge.

— George Santayana

God made every one unique, but when he came to china-COPY-PASTE-COPY-PASTE-COPY-PASTE...

— Unknoen

I look so gross in my pics ew. Then why did you upload 120 pictures in an album called...Me?

— Anonymous

I like to be friends with funny guys, but I don't want to date a funny guy.

— Brandi Cyrus

Nothing makes us more cowardly and unconscionable than the desire to be loved by everyone.

— Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

It's funny, because I sometimes feel that I'm most creative when I'm pregnant.

— Georgina Chapman

You have nothing to sell except for the image: The image is everything.

— Elle Macpherson

I'm worried this season of Jersey Shore will be less embarrassing to America than our government.

— Anonymous

Hoe's be like, 'He was my first.' Yeah, first of the week.

— Anonymous

“And you’re overthinking things, Charming.  Do the math.  Naked, interested man, check.  Wet, willing woman, double check.  Now insert part A into…

— Jane Cousins

To have seen Italy without having seen Sicily is to not have seen Italy at all, for Sicily is the clue to…

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It's funny because I think a lot of it is simply... We've never considered ourselves satirists, but because we're on Comedy Central…

— Trey Parker

“You’re not the only one in this relationship who loves a challenge,” he says. “And just so you know for the future,…

— Simone Elkeles

“She's in the Catskill," Shopie began, but Scathach reached over and pinched her hand. "Ouch!" I just wanted to distract you," Scathach…

— Michael Scott

I understand a woman who validates herself by getting attention from the opposite sex. I have a friend who is that to…

— Cheryl Hines

“Hello?" I say, sounding upbeat, and like I'm happy to be on the phone. I decide to pretend it's my imaginary girlfriend.…

— Lauren Barnholdt

“Here you are. Would you like some pickles?” “Pickles gives me the wind something awful.” “In that case—” “Oh, I wasn’t saying…

— Terry Pratchett

You drive the car, you don't carry it.

— Janet Guthrie

It's so much easier to do it right than to do it wrong.

— Tom Brokaw

Act now, for now is all you have.

— Og Mandino

McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.

— Jerry Coleman

I haven't had this bad of a Monday since last Monday.

— Anonymous

To be adored is something I recommend

— Tom Baker

I'm comfortable with morally gray.

— Noah

Why don't we scale up those things that do work.

— Tavis Smiley

I wish my mind had a delete button.

— Mee

I declare that The Beatles are mutants.

— Timothy Leary

Life is SO much better with whipped cream on top.

— Anonymous

You will move in the direction you are facing.

— Og Mandino

When in doubt, blow something up.

— J. Michael Straczynski

Trust that you can get back up and not give in. Ever.

— Patrick Willis

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth

— Logan Pearsall Smith

Nerd? I prefer the term Intellectual Badass!

— Green Monk