I'm happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it's funny. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You never know / What opportunity / Is going to travel to you, / Or through you. — Mary Oliver Copy Share Image
Juno showed me that speaking in cute lingo can negate the horrifying chaos of an unwanted pregnancy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I sometimes find that in interviews you learn more about yourself than the person learned about you. — William Shatner Copy Share Image
I think being funny was a coping mechanism because I was always the new kid in school. — Tom Segura Copy Share Image
There are two greatest days in a guys life… The day he was BORN… and the day he discovered PORN... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Shepley stomped into the apartment and slammed the door behind him. “She’s fucking impossible!” I kissed Travis on the cheek. “That’s my… — Jamie McGuire Copy Share Image
I did not intend to write a funny book, at first. I did not know I was a humorist. I have never… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Steven Alan Green is ONE funny writer ---- Everything I read of yours makes me laugh and think - Not just the… — Taylor Negron Copy Share Image
Seeing beach residents refuse to evacuate makes me feel better about the array of terrible decisions I've made this year. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I remember when I was younger and seeing guys like The Rock cut these promos telling the world how terrible they are.… — Wade Barrett Copy Share Image
I hear that I'm funny, and I think I'm funny, but I go in all the time for multicam, and they say… — Kirby Bliss Blanton Copy Share Image
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. And if you do have to say it, make… — Sabrina Carpenter Copy Share Image
